Sandra's Voice

March 5, 2012

2012-03-05T10:30:00.002-05:00

The sandstorm finally dwindled out and we in the process of cleaning up the mess. I am so thankful that all my family and friends are safe after the terrible storms in Indiana. I managed to speak to my son and husband, they seemed to have missed the worse of it, but others weren't so lucky. My prayers and best wishes go out to those families that are now trying to pick up the pieces and/or mourning those that perished in a tornado. I know how it feels to be hit by a storm so unexpected and completely devastating. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. God bless all of you.

Nothing new with the children. My daughter was given a visit today. She was allowed to see the children for a short while after their school. Once again, in the same place and under the same conditions. But, just having that small precious time with them is worth it. It is even more heart wrenching however when the visits end. They never seem to give up crying and begging for their father to let them have their mother back. These visits are not as comforting as we would hope. My oldest granddaughter is increasingly more upset after every visit and has begun to anticipate them ending. When the time gets close, she begins to cry and won't let her mother leave her side. She sits closely, stroking her hair and starts begging her not to let them go this time. She holds on to the hope that maybe this time it will be different, they will be allowed to stay with their mother. The younger children seem to accept their fate in an almost numb way, crying and begging for a while, then giving up. They seem to catch the significance of a losing battle, but my oldest does not. She seems to be getting more and more hysterical and has to be dragged to the car. This does not hinder her father from pulling her from her mother's arms, not even offering a comforting word of encouragement. He is matter of fact, telling them they know the rules. If they want to see their mother and their mother to see them, she must not show any reluctance in handing them over. She must not say or do anything that might be read as disagreeing with the circumstances. This is very difficult for her to do, but she does it. She puts on a brave face in front of the children, but as soon as she is alone in the car, she breaks down. One would think this would get easier, but it doesn't.

We are in the thick of things with the courts. So many new dates have been set and we preparing for those days. Please pray to give the judge wisdom in his ruling, to give him a conscience and understanding of international parental abduction. Right now, we are not sure if he gets this or not. It makes us apprehensive, but we are not giving up. We must keep praying that God will guide his hand at our new court hearing and this will be the judgment that turns the tables for us.

Until then, we are well.

Sandra

March 3, 2012

2012-03-03T08:07:00.000-05:00

We're still in the middle of a sand storm here. It should be letting up soon, but one never knows with these things. The furniture is covered with a nice thin layer of dust that begs to be cleaned, but why? As long as the sand storm keeps swirling more and more dust, it’s useless to try and keep up with it. So, we ignore the dirt and dust and wait for a break in the weather.

Nothing new to report on the children. We are waiting to see if any visit will come this week. We don't get our hopes up, but as court dates are rapidly approaching we might be given another visit in a feeble attempt to pretend that visits are being offered. Although we know it’s only being done as a political move on their part, we still accept any type of opportunity to visit with the children, so we wait and hope.
We finally got up enough courage to sort through of the boxes that have been sitting in storage since the abduction, too painful a process to do before. We were able to pull some large pictures of the kids out and hang them on the wall. It has been too difficult to look at these pictures before, but we are stronger now and we want to see their sweet smiles as a constant reminder of what we are fighting for on a daily basis. It's hard to believe that today marks the 10th month they have been gone. Ten months are gone from our lives as well. Most of us have not seen or heard from them since they were taken. Only my daughter has had the chance to see them during the brief visits that she has been given. For the rest of us, it is their memories that we rely upon. They have not seen their new cousins who were born after they were taken. They were not there for the funeral of their Great Grandfather who passed away after they were taken. He died without ever saying goodbye or even knowing how they were. So many things have happened in our lives since that date. It is a journey in agony and suffering that will never be forgotten. But we're still standing and fighting, moving and shaking trees and turning over rocks until the right combination pays off.

Ten months in a child's life is a very long time, and we have no promise that this will end anytime soon. But we do promise that we will never go away nor stop until we get them back. We love them and miss them. We must keep praying that the court hearings coming this month in March will be successful.

Until then, we are well.

Sandra

March 1, 2012

2012-03-01T07:34:00.000-05:00

We are finally back in Bahrain, where there is a dark sand storm blurring out the sun. This is of little consequence for us. My daughter was promised a visit with her children since she was not given one last week as promised, but once again was refused. In total, my daughter has seen her children two times since October. She was allowed to speak to her daughter for a few minutes this past week and in this conversation, she told her that she would see her and her brother and sister. They made plans for activities on that day and talked about how much they both were looking forward to being together, be it for only a few hours. But the promise made to her daughter, the promise made to her, and the mental and psychological harm done to the children by not allowing them to see their mother are not priority in the decision-making process by my ex-son-in-law. The games being played are a constant reminder that any talks of working things out as civilized human beings, with the children's best interest at heart, are not hopeful.

During these times, I often sit and ponder the ability of one human being to be so cruel, vindictive, unyielding, and manipulative when it comes to custody of children. What we lose sight of is the real victims in such battles; innocent children! Their only crime is being born into this world loving both parents. They don't want to be in the middle of an adult dispute, they don't want to be the weapon of mass destruction. They simply want to love their parents. They are not responsible for the failure of their parents to communicate or to be civilized. Yet, here we are. These children's fragile state of mind, their desperate need to be with their mother and their love for those who have nurtured and loved them since birth, is quickly dismissed upon a whim of a father who cannot be concerned with these small details. His priority is winning. But what is he winning? In the long run, he is risking all that he is fighting so hard to hold onto, his children. They will not forget . The scars will be with them forever.

But we are stronger than ever, we don't wail at minor setbacks anymore. We rage against the day, and we fight on.

Until then, we are well.

Sandra

Feb 28, 2012

2012-02-28T08:17:00.000-05:00

Today was a busy day for us. We spent most of the day preparing for more traveling, crossing the desert again and meeting with people. We did manage to spend some time with my other grandchildren and that has been a blessing. But the most important thing from today was that my daughter had the opportunity to talk to her daughter on the phone. It was , as with most calls, heavily monitored but it was well worth it to hear one of her children's voices. As usual, only one child had the chance to talk. The most remarkable conversation took place, with my granddaughter expressing how much she missed all of us and she wanted to know about her cousins that she has not seen for over 9 months. She also said that she wanted to come to be with us and didn't want to be there anymore, even though she was fully aware that the phone call was being monitored by her father. She is a strong little girl and is very outspoken about what she feels is an injustice and makes it clear to everyone that she does not want to be there. One would think that if a parent has any love for their child, they would be heartbroken hearing this type of pleading and sentiments from their small child. But, that doesn't appear to be the case here. The phone call ended abruptly but we are thankful for small moments to reconnect with the children and reassure them that we love them and miss them terribly. They know we are there and we aren't going to leave them.

Outside the weather is cool, and the parades and celebrations are in full swing; celebrating independence day and liberation day in Kuwait. It was so nice seeing all the patriotic flags waving and children dressed in national dress. Even my grandchildren in Kuwait got in on the excitement and dressed up. Everywhere we went, we could see cars painted for the celebrations and national day music playing. They even staged a "Flash Mob" dance routine in the local mall. It was truly well organized and everyone got in on the dancing; old men, women, children, and shop workers. The flash mob sang a song about Kuwait in Arabic, but surprisingly many Americans were in the middle of the dancing. It appears that the latest fad in the States is growing globally. Too cool. You can see it for yourself on utube.

We are tired from all the running we have done lately, but it is worth it. After talking to my granddaughter, my daughter and I, as is the entire family in Kuwait, are energized to keep fighting on and doing whatever it takes to get those children back with us. It was a good day.

Tomorrow, we will be moving again and driving into the night, as we usually do, heading back to Saudi. I will try to catch up the blog after we get there. We are well and very optimistic with what is happening around us. Thank you for your prayers and support as always. Sleep will come easier for me tonight, exhaustion is a wonderful way to induce sleep when it is so very difficult to come by. We are still plagued by nightmares, often sharing these the next day. But we are used to them now, and we expect to see the children in our dreams each night. This is actually something we cling to now, enjoying the mental interaction with them. That is all we have for now, but that will soon change.

Sandra

Feb 23, 2012

2012-02-23T04:43:00.000-05:00

No visits today. It wasn't convenient for them. They had company this weekend and felt it was too much bother to allow the children to see their mother. It's heartbreaking for us, but we can soldier on with the knowledge that they will comply to civilized and legal ramifications sooner or later. But the children don't understand such politics, they only know they didn't see their mother and they waited all week for that. They told my daughter the last time they saw her that they mark the days off the calendar each week in the hopes that they get to see her. Their inconvenience is the priority. That is very revealing.

I sit here in the early morning hours writing this blog. The sun has just breached the horizon, slow and lazy, it will not allow my passing quickly but instead I watch. There is calmness in the cool air, warming with each minute. I was awakened this morning early by the prayer call, a deep, haunting sound that filters through the air to remind all of us that time is ticking, prayers need to be made and life can take a moment to stop while we reconnect with God. The fact that it calls us from our sleep when no other sound is awake, when this sound alone cuts through the dark and sits softly about our heads seems so powerful this morning. So, I decide to get up and pray. Then I poured a cup of coffee and watch the sun come up. Usually, I am off making some arrangements or preparing papers or making calls, but this morning it didn't seem too important. The revival of the human spirit is present for me this morning. This moment of calm displayed, in full spectrum, the glory of God's work that has gone unnoticed for most of us each day. Wow, I know this is no coincidence. It was not "inconvenient" for me to get up this morning and heed the call to prayer. It was not "inconvenient" for me to sit patiently watching something that happens each day without my participation, yet today I needed to be here.

I realize that Karma works both ways. Those good will be rewarded and those evil will pay the price. I am able to accept that my daughter didn't see the children today as part of the bigger plan. This is a sacrifice we and they have had to make for the final determination of our destiny. Karma is being earned on both sides, and today as the sun came up as it always does, it so raises my spirit and belief that we will have the children back. They have been hurt so badly but we will heal them. All in good time....

We are well,

Sandra

Feb 22 2012

2012-02-22T09:09:00.002-05:00

I've been traveling for the past few days and just now had time to sit down and write all of you on the blog. I have spent the last two days holding my grand babies in Kuwait...they have grown so much. It has been terrific and a great rest for us to be here and see everyone. But we travel back into the desert today and wonder when we will get to see the children in Saudi. No word from them, we keep asking with no reply, but maybe we'll get lucky and we have a chance to see them yet.
The weather is turning nice here, in the high 70's and low 80's, weather that allows us to open up windows and air out the house. This lifts our spirits and renews us for more coming our way for the month of March. We had a chance to see our in-laws in Kuwait at a wedding. It was lovely, the bride was beautiful and we were reminded about good times before all of this began when we saw all those we love and haven't had time to visit lately. But in one night, we managed to catch up and felt like we were back with old friends and family again. They showered us with love and attention, ever mindful of what we have been going through. They offered us their advice and reminded us about the mercy of God and his wisdom that things will work out and we will have our children home soon. Such is the way of Bedouin women, strong and determined, having seen more sadness than most people see in a lifetime, they are still optimistic and positive. This encourages us to be strong as well, and it did us good.

We are still waiting for any news, nothing coming yet. It is something we have come to expect and accept as things work slowly in the courts. But we are sure of one thing, we will have the children back and we must keep on fighting for our rights and their happiness. We pray for another visit this week.

Until then,
We are well,
Sandra

Feb 16, 2011

2012-02-16T16:44:00.002-05:00

Today has been a busy day for us. We have continuous sand storms which seem to last during the daylight hours and dwindle down to mere haze by the evening hours. Spent time with a friend of mine yesterday, and her support and love was wonderful. She reminded me about how children love unconditionally and they will not forget so easily. This is particularly true today. Today my daughter was given another visit, under the same conditions of lock down with guards. She had the opportunity to again sit with her children and reassure them that she is there for them and hasn't gone away. The children told her that they get teased at school by other children about not having a mommy. This hurts them and they are defensive about it to their classmates and cousins. They tell them that they have a mommy and she loves them very much and they will be with her again. This is so painful for us, knowing they have to deal with rudeness and pain that is totally unnecessary. But, this is the price that my ex-son-in-law appears to be willing to pay for his own personal gains.

As with the other visit, at the end of the visit the children clung to their mother and cried and begged their father not to take them from their mother. This was hard to deal with but my daughter knows that this is not about her but it is about the children. So she assured them that she would be back and they will be seeing her again and she loved them. When the car drove off, she could still hear them crying. The manner in which they are taken from her is cold and calculating, not gentle and caring but pulled from her arms with annoyance and impatience. But at the end of the day, she had the chance to spend some time with her children and they had the chance to see their mother. At this point, this is very important for all of them, especially me.

We sat and talked it through when she returned home, and we know that we are doing the right thing. We know that we must continue to fight for them and try to take away their pain one day. The fact that the courts move slowly, without consideration for the days and months that small children are being kept from their mother is of little consequence in the judicial system. I know many people may not be able to identify with such depth of evil and pain, but the thought of something like this happening to one's own children is enough for me to feel compassion and empathy for that person. It doesn't take education or reading law or studying cases to realize the trauma that must be playing out. But then, I am just a grandmother, not a judge. It’s up close and personal to me, it is not for them. One day when this is done and behind us, I will fight to change legislature that does not address those children who fall through the cracks, those of parental abduction.

We are better now, having talked about the good things we have and our hopes for the future. We are not deterred in our mission. We miss everyone and think of you often. Each day is one that we rebuild our lives and get even stronger, and know that God is leading us on the right path. Love to all of you.

Until then, we are well,

Sandra

Feb 14, 2012

2012-02-14T15:37:00.000-05:00

Today has been a quiet day. Today was the deadline from the Bahraini Revolution Group to the government, demanding they step down. According to the letters presented to the royal family in Bahrain, if they did not step down this would ignite massive group protests that included aggressive Resistance. However, it has been a calm day. We have not seen too many protests from where we are living. I did hear that there were some protests in nearby villages, but nothing within our area. We were standing on the balcony and saw and heard gun shots directly across the street from us, but it was only the police shooting into the air warning some protesters to move on and not stop traffic. I know it is a serious business, but we are completely safe behind all the security forces surrounding our location and we have not seen or heard anything that might alarm us.

As for the kids, we were given a phone call and spoke to the kids. My daughter spoke to her oldest daughter for a while, they discussed school and tutoring and daily activities. But at the end of the phone call, she burst into tears and began crying. She asked her mother why she couldn't see her all the time, not just for a visit. My daughter told her that things were being worked out and she would be with her soon. The phone call ended with an interchange between my daughter and her ex-husband having a shouting match. We are hoping that this does not prevent her from seeing her children again or speaking to her on the phone. Although there has only been one visit and one phone call, we keep hoping this will be the beginning of more visits to come. We haven't been given any word on that and our expectations are starting to dwindle with the realization that there is more going on than merely wanting to see the children happy. The demands have begun again, this time they are attached to the visits, if you want to see the kids again then you will.... We must get a thick skin to resist the barbs and manipulation but it isn't easy since the goal is to be with the children as much as possible and they know that. It’s sad that this has become their weapon of choice, dangling children's visits to get my daughter to agree to unreasonable conditions and/or terms of settlement.

We are trying to stay calm and deal with all the new things flying at our heads at this moment, and I think we are doing a great job at keeping our perspective on these things. We are still fighting on all fronts and nothing has changed with that. And that is exactly what they do not want, our continued resistance.

But, as a mother, my daughter (and I) will never accept less than having our children back. They, on the other hand, will never give us that freely. Thus, we continue with everything in all countries. It is heating up, and we are ready for the battles to come. But no need to worry about us in Bahrain, it is calm and no threats to us personally.

Until then,

We are well,

Sandra

Feb 11, 2012

2012-02-12T10:24:00.000-05:00

The last two days have been quiet. Aisha actually got to speak to her oldest child on the phone today, but of course her ex-husband monitored the phone call. Even though he was listening, her daughter began to cry at the end of the phone call and wanted to know why she couldn't be with her or see her. It was heartbreaking, but as we all know these are steps forward and we must try to make these calls work so my daughter kept her composure and manage to reassure her daughter that she would see her soon. It was difficult, but it was more than we have had and we are thankful for that.

The atmosphere here in Bahrain is dense with the pressure from the threats of the anniversary of Feb 14th occupation of the Pearl Roundabout. As it turns out, we are near the roundabout and we see the increase in military presence. We feel very safe in the knowledge that one must pass through three levels of security before entering our compound, but as a precaution, the military presence is everywhere. As we often do with the constant presence of troops and such in the area, we get use their presence and the mall was very active today and people were going about their business as usual. We hope that this will, too, pass, as other threats to the regions have done in the past, but they are taking every precaution. We are safe and well, able to watch from our apartment balcony.

So, today was a rather quiet time for us. We managed to get some errands done and stocked up on groceries. We had the opportunity to talk to our oldest grandchild and she was well, although she burst into tears and begged her mother to come to her at the end of the conversation, it was to be expected. What was not expected, was the emotional state of mind she is in after all these months away from her mother. She is still having trouble dealing with it and she lost control at the end of her conversation. This was a huge sign that she is struggling to make the most of what life has dealt her as we are, but she is still hurt and that pain does go away by merely being out of sight.

We are still fighting, we are still here and no matter what may come in the next few days here in Bahrain, we are not deterred from our purpose, reuniting with those children. As I have said, these are but small things in the cycle of life that we are willing to deal with if we can speak or see our children.

We are well, it has been quiet and we are calm in the face of the storm,

Sandra

Feb 9 2012

2012-02-09T16:32:00.002-05:00

Today was a hopeful day. My daughter saw her children today and celebrated her oldest child's birthday. They shared a cake, presents and played throughout the day. It was fairly uneventful with regards to some of our fears earlier. The day went smoothly. Although this is a small step, it gives us hope that there may be more. Her daughter told her that this was the best birthday she has ever had because her Momma was there. She had lunch with the kids, played games and laughed at their jokes and teasing. She made a special effort to be positive and upbeat for the kids and everything went off without a hitch. This was an emotionally mixed day for us, worry about the outcome and how difficult it would be to part with the children, but they all seemed to handle it okay. The kids were reassured that they would see their Mother again soon and they seemed to accept that. By the end of the day, we were so relieved on so many levels. But the most important part of the day was the successful visit.

My daughter told us they had all grown so much, inches taller. They filled her in on their school and friends, and sang songs with her and sat on her lap. They made the most of it and it was worth the risks she took to see them. As I said, we are hopeful this is the beginning of more visits and perhaps some healing on every one's part. It’s amazing how such a little thing can be so powerful. We are definitely having a better night, than we have had lately. There was no mention of any charges or any discussions of what is going on around them, they only focused on enjoying the day as if it was any normal day with the family. Although I did not get to see them, it feels as if I was there. It made my heart feel good to hear their stories and know they are missing everyone and they haven't forgotten us. They mentioned me and their grandfather, their aunts and uncles, their cousins and friends, asking about us and wanting to tell us they love us and will see us soon. They even remembered stories from the past and laughed about those memories. Such innocence is capable of deep healing and has the capacity to forget and forgive easily. This was certainly good news for all of us.

We will be telling stories from this visit for days to come, I am sure. It will be enough to get us through another week without them. Then...well maybe then we will have another, then another and we can eventually find some common ground to resolve this for in the best interest of the children. One thing is for sure, it the best day we have had in over 8 months.

Sleep will come peacefully tonight for a change.

We are well,

Sandra

Feb 8, 2012

2012-02-08T17:18:00.000-05:00

Well folks, the games are still playing out. My ex-son-in-law has pressed charges accusing me of "attacking" his sister. Not only have I not seen his sister but this is rather interesting given the fact that I received a letter asking me not to talk to any member of his family or fear a law suit. In addition, I was originally told, in this letter, that I visited a business establishment of theirs that is an American franchise and threatened their staff. It appears that this now has been elevated to attacking a family member. My son and daughter were summoned to the head of the police and were asked of my whereabouts, then my son had to sign a letter saying he would inform me of the investigation. I have no problem with the fact that I may never be able to venture into Saudi again, who cares, but the fact that lies are being spewed as facts is very alarming. If they can do this to me, what can they do to my son and daughter who are still going into Saudi to fight for their rights? The mere thought of this is not only scary but symptomatic of what is wrong with the way my ex-son-in-law conducts business.

Now it appears that charges are being threatened on my daughter for daring to tell a holy man in Saudi that he was not so holy since he has lied numerous times under oath and continues to do so. Evidently, in Saudi the mention of a man not being a devout Muslim is grounds for lashings or at the least charges. While this is being pondered by their team as another method to intimidate my daughter into giving up her rights, we are offered a visit. I am not sure why. My granddaughter's birthday is Thursday and my daughter is desperate to see her children, thus she has accepted. We all know the risks, we all worry for her, but how can we tell her not to see her children? We spent the day buying birthday gifts for all the kids and preparing for a wonderful visit with a birthday cake and toys and balloons. It will be wonderful for her to see them, and she is so excited to share the day with them. Although she knows the risks, she is willing to take them as she is first and foremost a mother. A mother will endure anything she must to see her children. We are torn between the thoughts in our heads and those in our hearts.

The rules are simple, in order to see the kids. She must come alone, no guardian or protector in a male dominated society. She must walk into a closed and gated compound, surrounded by armed guards. Once inside, she must be escorted to a villa owned by the family. This villa will be guarded at all times with 4 guards on the personal payroll of the family. Once inside, she may not leave the villa at any time. She will have two nannies present at all times as well, and they will communicate on cell phones with the family throughout the day. Even with all these horrific terms, she is willing and wants to see her children. No matter what the costs, having some time with them is precious and she needs this. We hold our breath and pray that she returns to us unharmed. I know I can never be a part of these visits, so sending gifts for their birthday is as close as we can get. We purchased gifts from each member of the family, each one wanted to give something from them to show the children they are not forgotten. We want those babies to know that we love them and we haven't gone away and moved on with our lives.

In spite of all this, it is our sincere hope that this visit is a small crack for hope. Perhaps they too are tired, they too want some resolution, but we know better than to get our hopes us. We have been hurt so badly in the past and we know our court cases rages on. We want a peaceful end to this, our babies need their mother, and they need to heal. We are praying that this visit goes well and more will come. We can only wait and see. It is said, "Time heals all wounds." I pray this is the case and somehow these children's needs will become the priority, not selfish domination and/or pride.

Until then, we are well,

Sandra

Feb 6, 2012

2012-02-06T18:03:00.000-05:00

Today was not a good day for us. We went to court, as we were summoned, and met with the judge in Saudi. He had nothing to say to us, he had decided to send the case back to the Appeals Court. Interesting, my ex-son-in-law was not present, he already knew what the judge was going to do. Why did he have us come? We don't know. Why couldn't he just rule with the findings of the Appeals Court, I don't know. It was an emotional time for my daughter. Things got a bit emotional for all, lies were thrown around, accusations flew but at the end, we had nothing more than when we walked in. We were completely unprepared for this turn of events. Evidently, according to our council, it can go back to the Appeals Court 3 times, after which time they (the abductors) can ask for a new judge and we can look forward to starting this all over again with a new judge. But as we know their ability to bribe, corrupt and influence the courts, we suspect that any new judge assigned will be a "friendly" one" to their case. If nothing else, they have bought more time; more time to keep the children away from us, more time to brain wash their minds, more time to inflict more pain upon us. They are not willing to even discuss any settlement, any type of amicable agreement that might be in the best interest of the children. We thought we had made gains, only to find out that no one seems able to stand up for what is right. I have seen honorable men who show fear and doubt, unable to make decisions either out of ignorance or fear of reprisals. With nothing coming from the State Department or other entities we are working with, and men in power afraid to take charge and make a decision about the lives of 3 innocent children, we are caught in a void of humanity, slipping between the cracks of politically correct responses and no action. In the meantime, 3 small children do not see their mother; a mother does not see her children. How can this be possible? Have we not made any progress in human rights in the world enough to address child abuse that is openly displayed for all to see? It makes me so sad to think about those children who need someone to rescue them who have no voice, no political strength, no money to buy favors, if children who have so many people fighting for their release and making every effort to get them out of the abuse situation are being ignored. I am not sure who will eventually help us, we have tried everyone. But we cannot give up, we must keep fighting. Karma is being amassed in huge doses, sooner or later someone has to be held accountable.

This has not been a good day for us, but we move forward. My granddaughter's birthday is coming up this week, she will be 7 years old. We won't be there, as we weren't there for the twin’s birthday, and we won't be allowed to even call her, as we weren't for the twins. But in court, he claims that we didn't even call them on their birthday....omitting that we were not allowed to call. In order to reach the house or any member of the household, we must first be patched through by a switchboard operator, and he has strict orders to not permit any calls from us, or permit any calls to the children by anyone unless first authorized by them. Believe me, we have tried; pleaded, cried, begged, and promised that we would never tell, but the operator was too scared we were told. So, we prepare for our Granddaughter's birthday in silence.

We are still working on everything, every minute of the day, nothing is undone. Sooner or later, we will have them back. It is just going to take more time, and time is something that is very precious for a child.

Until then, we are well.

Sandra

Feb 5, 2012

2012-02-05T12:08:00.000-05:00

Back in Bahrain. Touched down at the airport to mild weather and a surreal feeling. It’s hard to imagine that we are back at the same point as we were when we left back in December, no more, no less. But we do meet with the Saudi Judge and courts tomorrow, we can only hope that he will follow the findings from the Appeals Courts in Saudi and give us our children back. But, as we have come to expect any form of corruption or bribery or pressure from my ex-son-in-law and his family, we never know what will come out of Saudi. We are closer to getting the kids back now than we have ever been, so we must carry on and keep praying for the judge's wisdom and trust in the police to enforce this judgment when we get it.

We have made several attempts to speak to the children but we have been denied time and time again. The only excuse they continue to give is that we might upset the kids and must sign a legal agreement for terms before they can allow any such communication, which we would gladly do. But, no agreement has been made on their part and they still make random, ambiguous demands...do they never tire of the games? We will see tomorrow what they are planning to do, but one thing for sure, we will be there to look them in the eye. We will not walk out of that courtroom tomorrow without something that we can take to the police!

Its night time here, the roads are quiet but we can see the check points with their flashing lights close by. Security is beefed up here in Bahrain, but other than that it is business as usual here. I know there have been several reports of unrest but for now it is quiet. My sons and my daughter are here with me today, waiting to move into Saudi soon, but for now we are positive and determined to make sure our children see us soon, and do whatever it takes to get them back with us. My daughter has evolved into a stronger person from all of this, she is no longer intimidated nor is she willing to go down to her knees as she once did, she is up for the fight tomorrow. We are all pleased to see her positive and prepared for whatever comes tomorrow.

Thank you for your prayers and wishes. I know everyone has been disappointed in the outcomes we have received in the States, strangely uninformed judge and technicalities taking priority instead of 3 abducted children, but we are still positive. What we can't lose sight of is that good will win over evil, God does not reward those who harm children...we will get them back.

Until then, we are well.

Sandra

2012-02-02T17:12:00.000-05:00

Today I am back on my blog. We had our hearing in Boston yesterday and as expected, it was moved to the end of March. The judge ordered that this was not an emergency, he did not accept that abduction was a concern for the safety and well being of the children. However, after our initial shock, we realized that it will be treated as a custody hearing in March but not an emergency hearing. Thus, we have some measure of success. We have to be strong and continue our fight into the following months, instead of getting something we needed now, we have to wait. This seems to be the pattern of our court battle in the States. It has been 8 months since this began and it appears that it will be even longer before the States will even hear our case...what can they be thinking? We know the laws established by the Supreme Court, the Hague Convention, the Congress, and the State of Mass in their recent law review, all declare child abduction as a severe form of child abuse. However, our judge does not seem to be enlightened on this and will hopefully educate himself in the coming weeks. We can only hang on and keep fighting.

As for the next hearing, we are headed back into Saudi to meet with the judge. We hope he will be more reasonable and realize the rights of the mother in this case...no one else seems to care if she is not with her children. They are treated as possessions and their delicate psychological and emotional states of mind are not even brought up much less addressed. All we can do is hope that this is not the case in our next hearing in a couple of days. We know we are going back into Bahrain, the civil unrest is growing there but we aren't too concerned about that. We have had that for a while and it seems to come and go in waves, but we will be careful.

I want the babies to know, when they one day read this blog as documentation to our ever present fight for their release, how much we love them and we will not give up on them. We will be there soon and will fight for you. Until you are back with us, we never stop thinking about you and missing you. It was hard for us being in Boston these couple of days, everywhere we looked we saw them playing and how much they loved being here. We will have those memories again, very soon. If only a father, who claims to love them so much that he can't bear them out of his sight or allow any other person in their lives but those he wants, will stop thinking about himself and selfishness does not continue on until the harm being done is not reversible.

We miss all of our friends and family, we keep you in our heart as we go back into the black hole of the justice system elsewhere in the world.
Until then, we are well. We are staying strong and will continue to fight.
Sandra

2012-01-22T00:24:00.000-05:00

Nothing new to report from today. We are still in constant communications with our lawyers and them directly asking for phone calls and/or visits but they still deny any contact. We are being told that it is for the "well being" of the children that no contact is permitted. They are stating that they must give us strict guidelines or rules that we must obey in order to receive these phone calls. Of course, the rules are beyond reasonable but we are willing to comply just to hear their voices, but they still find new ways to prevent this by coming up with new rules or reasons why this would be harmful to the children. The irony of this situation is that they claim we must not discuss the case with the children or say anything that might imply abduction. That is just more smoke in mirrors on their part. We know that they spend each and every day with the children and say and do anything they like, including giving the children the impression that we simply do not want to see them or speak to them. How can they say "we" might say something that might upset the kids when they did the most unspeakable thing to them, took them from their mother, kept them from speaking to their mother or seeing their mother, telling them lies and then suddenly when it comes to discussions about our speaking to the kids, they worry about those consequences??? They are still the same delusional people incapable of real concern or empathy towards the very individuals they claim to be protecting. They simply fear that some one might leak the truth, but the children know fully why they are being kept away from their mother and they won't forget it anytime soon.

The Boston hearing is coming soon, with a stop in Washington D.C., the Saudi hearing and the Kuwaiti hearing. Can they run from those hearings, refuse to honor any court orders as they have done in the past forever? Time and justice will catch up to them. In the mean time, we won't give up fighting them and this is something they underestimate. Many of members of this family are currently in New York, enjoying the sights and restaurants, living it up in the Big Apple. They dare to enjoy the freedoms and liberties that the States has to offer, yet ignore our laws and justice system. Something is very wrong with this picture. Are we allowing those with enough money to enter our country and exploit our way of life for their own financial gains while denying 3 American children their rights? An American mother her rights? Are their rights more important than those who have family who fought and gave their lives for the freedoms we have? My uncle is an honored survivor of the Battle of the Bulge in WWII, another uncle gave his life in the Korean war, my father served proudly in the Korean War, my cousins served in Vietnam and many of my family and friends are currently serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. My brother-in-law rode proudly rode into the First Gulf War on the number 8 tanks to liberate Kuwait, and family members were captured and tortured during the taking back of Kuwait from Saddam. I certainly hope all of the efforts of these brave men and women were not in vain. And we are still standing for freedom and justice for all, especially children.

Soon we will be going back into Saudi to fight on for our children, as well as the States and Kuwait. God has a plan and we will see his plan through.

Until then, we are well.
Sandra

2012-01-16T11:01:00.000-05:00

Another day playing the waiting game. Time is ticking by leading up to the Boston hearing. We have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, but early in the morning or late at night, it is difficult to do. We know that they are playing the waiting game too because they refuse to acknowledge any communications from us, but that will not prevent the huge wave that is coming their way.

We pray each day that we are allowed to hear their voices, even in a phone call, but we brace ourselves for rejection because they aren't concerned with the emotional state of mind of these children they only care about their winning. In the beginning, they abducted the children because they wanted to punish my daughter for daring to seek a divorce, a blow to their egos and social status. But now it has become a matter of winning for them. I can't fathom anyone using children as a tool in a deadly game of pain and hurt, such tactics are for godless people. At anytime during these 8 months, they should have felt the injustice or simply saw the agony on the faces of the children and decided to do the right thing, give them back their mother. But that is not how people who are wealthy, powerful and use to living outside the law see life. But god sees all and he knows the ending to this sage well before it began.

My daughter struggles each day to overcome her grief and move forward, but the physical toll on her body is showing. She is tired and misses the children so much, she dreams about them, she talks about them constantly, she tries to think about getting them back and what a glorious day that will be. But at other times, she is drawn down into a dark place and struggles against staying in that dark place. I must be strong for her and be her pillar when those days come and pull her back out. So far, we are able to do that and balance our hurt and pain with living daily lives. I now understand it when a person says that not a day goes by that I don't think about them or life was never the same. We go to the grocery, we watch TV, we visit with friends and family, yet the children are never far from our minds. We know the children are experiencing the same thing in their small, little lives too. We hear their stories and see the expressions on their faces in pictures, we can see that what once was a carefree childhood has now become a heavy, emotional childhood. They robbed them of that, but we will work on changing that when they come back to us, and we will.

I know we are so blessed with friends and family that will help us make that happen, we just need to be patient. So we play the waiting game until they are back with us. Today was a hard day for us, but as we always do, we pull ourselves up and march on...

We are well,
Sandra

2012-01-12T00:41:00.000-05:00

The last couple of days have been spent keeping our spirits up. We have been trying to get some word on having telephone calls to the kids, a small measure of comfort for us. But, they have not replied to any of our requests. We heard from an insider that our oldest granddaughter has been asking about us and wanting to know where we are and why we haven't come to her. This was hard to hear because she can't know how hard we are fighting to do just that, she only knows that her mother and grandmother are not there and can't understand why we aren't. We did manage to see some pictures of them at an event they put on in December, posted on their web site. It was bittersweet seeing them, we were happy to see their faces but we also know they have no way of knowing that we are there. They have grown so much, had so many new things happening to them that we are not a part of like losing a first tooth, my granddaughter with the CP hs grown taller but very thin and my grandson has lost his baby fat and now looks more like a little boy rather than a toddler. But we can't let all that get to us now, we have to be stronger than we ever have.

We have several court dates coming up in the next few weeks which will carry a great deal of weight. They are not happy with this, actually dared to be angry that we are still pushing the legal system to gain our rights. What they don't know is that this is merely a starting point for us until we get the kids back with us. We have so many more avenues available that could really change their lives but we are still trying to do things to settle this in judicial system. Our hope is that they come to the table with us to avoid the nasty fallout of these court hearings when they happen and do the right thing, not for the kids as obviously they don't care about the well being of the kids, but for their own future. Arrogance is still the game with them and they will not allow us any contact with the children, making every move we make necessary.

We are applying pressure and they are feeling the heat even more, but this is does not get us our children yet. We pray that they will allow us some communications with them on the phone and eventually will agree to resolve this soon, but if not we are prepared to move forward.

We managed to rest over the holidays and saw friends and family, recharged our batteries and now we are back on track more feirce than ever. Please pray that they find the wisdom to give the children back soon, as we do each day.

Until then, we are well.
Sandra

2012-01-07T21:25:00.000-05:00

The games have begun. We have not heard from the children, we don't have any information on the children, and we don't know how they are doing, but we keep the faith that they are doing well. We know the clock is ticking for my youngest granddaughter's CP, no treatments or therapy and the signs are there that she needs medical attention. We are informed about her condition from time to time and we know that they are ignoring this. But we are putting on the pressure and they cannot ignore it for too much longer.

We are moving again, keeping them wondering where we are. In the next few days and weeks, they will see our faces when they least expect it. The world has not sit silently by, the courts are working and soon they will know that they must return the children to us. Our oldest grandchild will have a birthday soon, and we race against the clock to make sure we are part of her birthday, not missing it as we have done the other two. The children have gone back to school and this too will change in time.

But for now, we are preparing for the next few weeks and pray that God has not brought us this far without a purpose. Evil cannot continue to go unnoticed and this gives us strength and patience for the end result. We miss them so much, we love them so much, we will never give up this fight.

We are well,
Sandra

2012-01-03T17:13:00.000-05:00

Today is another typical day in our household, back to working on court proceedings and working with lawyers. I had a dream last night and woke up to see if the children were there. At the same time, my daughter had a dream as well, so vivid and so real that she woke up as well. We both discussed the dream and it appears that they were very similar. In them, we could see the children and hear them playing around us but we couldn't get to them. We heard my oldest granddaughter calling for her mommy and asking where we were. In my dream, I answered back but couldn't find them, it was as if we were playing a game of hide-n-seek. I kept calling, they kept answering and I searched each section of the house looking for them. It was very frustrating and painful. Shortly after I woke up, my daughter woke up and she said she had the same type of dream. She was very upset and emotional, full of anger that we are still being kept away from the children. This must be our reaction to the holidays and not having them here. But the good thing is that after we managed to calm down and talk about it, it made us even more excited about the coming days in January, doing whatever it takes to get them back.

We have heard that they are in Lebanon for the holidays. I am sure they are doing their typical family vacation time with the children being kept in the hotel while they plan a day around their own needs. They will drag them to fancy restaurants, parade them into a toy store and then leave them with the nannies in the hotel room while they enjoy the night life. They will not, nor have they ever, gone on a vacation that centered around ideas that might be fun for the kids. At least, we rationalize, they are out of the prison they are being held in Saudi Arabia, even for a little while. And, as we have come to expect, these abductors are living life to the fullest without any regard to the fact that we had no such family vacation or Christmas holiday. We have been sitting alone, missing the kids, feeling the sadness of a home without laughter or joy. This is earning them plenty of Karma that they will have to pay for one day or another...and if we have anything to say about it, it will be sooner.

Until we have them back, we march on and leave no stone unturned. We are well, after what we have been through in 2011, this is a mere bleep on the radar.

Sandra

2011-12-31T16:56:00.000-05:00

I want to wish everyone a happy new year. We are holding on to what the new year 2012 promises to bring, our children back and with that I can honestly say that we are looking forward to a happy new year. We have been blessed with more good news, we won our case in Bahrain and that has been at least one chapter we can close. It doesn't make it any easier to get through the day without our children, especially this afternoon when the sky is gray and everywhere we look are small reminders of the children. When it is sunny and nice outside, we can walk or go out and keep ourselves busy, but today was a quiet day, no celebrating planned, and we are left with our thoughts. That is a dangerous thing.

However, with all of our recent good news and knowing they must be feeling the heat, we manage to throw off those dark feelings and settle down knowing this is but temporary. I will keep it short today, no much new to report for now other than our victory in Bahrain, but in January the fierce battle we have launched to get our children back will resume with more strength than ever. We will have them back with us very soon.

Best wishes to everyone this time of year,
We are well,
Sandra

2011-12-28T00:44:00.000-05:00

"It is easier to find a score of men wise enough to discover the truth than to find one intrepid enough, in the face of opposition, to stand up for it. ~A.A. Hodge" This is a quote that I have come to understand more sincerely than I ever thought I would ever need to. In the face of corruption and dishonesty, a few good men have done just that. At this time of year, when we should reflect upon this past year's deeds and what we did with those deeds or should have done with those deeds or wished we hadn't done with those deeds, I stand in reflection on one of the most evil deeds that any one human being can do to another, take one's children away. And if left to my own inner torture, I could have easily believed that no honest, good men still exist, but that is not so. I now see that God does direct the hands and minds of a few good men, he leads them with wisdom and knowledge that cannot be bought or sold. As one of these men said to me, "what is this life but a temporary one. what we do to be given a place in the afterlife is what counts." I cannot explain everything at this moment in time, but it is important that you know the wheels of justice are turning, and there are good people who cannot be bought or influenced to make decisions that are false.

We have not seen or heard from the children. But we know it is only a matter of a short time now, the ball is falling in New York on New Year's Eve, and it is falling elsewhere in the world as well. We are never given any news about their well being, but we are given a look into their world by reading their posts on twitter and facebook. They are still posting daily about their baking cookies and throwing parties for charities, flying to London for the Christmas holidays and "this is the best year!" The sad part of all these notes to the public, is that they honestly think people don't know they are writing their own PR releases? They pat themselves on the back, then post about how proud they are of themselves for doing it. ???

It is very difficult for us right now, we have fought so hard and we are so close and yet, so far. We ache for these children, we miss them so much. We are on the move again, meetings with so many people, so many courts, so many surprises!

We are well,
Sandra

2011-12-26T00:11:00.000-05:00

Today was Christmas around the world, children are opening gifts, families are celebrating together, a joyous time of year. We didn't have any gifts, no tree, no family gathered, we sat alone. This was not Christmas to us, we didn't have our children to open gifts. We wonder if they had any gifts at all, or if anyone cared that they didn't have their family with them as they always did in the past. So, we couldn't bring ourselves to celebrate something that is so full of memories and lovely, sweet laughter from children that weren't there. It is not a sad time though, we know it will only be a matter of time before we see them again and we will never spend Christmas alone again.

By now, they must know that we haven't given up and that more is coming. That gives us something to smile about today. We are now getting communications from them through their lawyer, trying to find out what we are doing, trying to find our location and wondering what is next. They will know soon enough. But for now, we wait knowing that the time is drawing near that they will be held accountable for what they have done, and we may see our children again.

For all of you enjoying this time with your family, may you have a wonderful Christmas and holiday. Always keep those you love close and appreciate each momemt you are in their company. May the new year bring you happiness and renewal, as it may bring to us.

Even though our children are not with us, they can feel us. They know we are near and know how much we love them. We gather comfort from that and on this day, a day of blinking lights on trees, gifts being shared and loved ones gathered together, we feel their love too. We will have this day again with them, of that we are sure. And the day of reckoning is coming, and of that we are sure of as well.

Happy Holidays to all, and may the new year be a blessed one for all.

We are well,
Sandra

2011-12-20T21:28:00.000-05:00

Today was a revealing day, I can't discuss too much of what is going on in detail due to on-going court cases but it was the a positive result. As my mother would say, God may work slow, but he is never too late. All of your prayers and support has brought some good things to light today and we are definately still fighting a strong fight. A few weeks ago, my ex-son-in-law had a letter sent on his behalf to certain entities that said everything is over. Basically, he implied that they had won all the cases and we were dead in the water. Boy, did they get the shock of their lives today! The battle is far from over and they are not sitting as pretty as they thought.

Very, very soon we will be able to let you know the details of what has been happening behind the scenes, requiring our silence and preventing me from blogging daily as I usually do. But, I know you have been there to support us each and every day, worried with us, cried with us, got angry with us and prayed with us. So, I wanted to let you know that our battle has heated up and we are far from over. They are running out of options and we are gaining more and more each day. Their evil deeds will come out, as we have always said and that is beginning to happen.

We still haven't seen or spoke to the children. We hope that this changes soon, but right now it is still early. We ask that everyone continue praying with us and keep thinking positive, it is working.

Until I am able to share more with you, just know that today we are very, very good. Thank you, God was listening to us and you.
We are well,
Sandra

2011-12-16T15:58:00.000-05:00

Today is cold and grey, which matches our sentiments right now. We are keeping our spirits up but its not easy to do. I haven't blogged for the last few days, been on the move a great deal lately. We know that there is something being planned in Saudi Arabia in an attempt to prevent me from entering the country, but that has not been successful. I have received cautious warnings about their state of mind and their ability to use the court system and police to further their efforts, but again this is a desperate attempt to find anyway to get to us. What this actually demonstrates to me is how scared they have become that people will find out what they are doing and what they have been doing. They know it is not a secret, they know people talk and the word is out around the world about their criminal activities, yet they pretend to be wounded by the gossip. Maybe they should have thought of that before they decided to cross the line of moral and ethical responsibilities, criminal actions and corrupt behavior. Yes, people are talking and it is not necessary for us to do or say anything, they are, by their actions, their own worst enemy.

We are struggling with the holidays, remembering the wonderful times he had with the children and how much they loved this time of year. They feel it is appropriate to put up a tree in their own home in Saudi Arabia and practice Christmas, while standing on the premise that Christmas is evil in court. They deny these children the chance to celebrate and enjoy the bright lights and festive atmosphere, while their cousins openly celebrate the season and prepare to travel. Once again, this does not surprise us. Once again, this only supports our belief that they care nothing for the well being of the children or they own them, and as such, they must stay in the home and be looked after like a piece of furniture.

We are working on staying calm and collective while we wait for the storm that is gathering on the horizon, but this will be nothing compared to the price that will be collected one day from the Karma they are creating. Fear of God is not to be mocked, and he will and has set the date in which they will be made aware of their actions. The world is waiting.

We are well,
Sandra

Dec 11, 2011

2011-12-11T08:53:00.000-05:00

It's a cold night here, for the Middle East, but a nice break from the usual heat. We have been on the move several times in the past couple of days and I haven't had much time for writing the blog. We are still waiting for any word on the children, but none comes. We have been informed that many plans are on the way for the holiday break in their family, people traveling and enjoying the holiday spirit, but the children are not included in these plans. As one brother tweets that he is loving New York City, our children are being held in their home. This is nothing new, we know at least where they are, and at this point, that is something.

We have been given information that they are still at work to prevent us from seeing the kids and going to extremes to see that we don't have any contact with them, even by threats. But, that too is not new, it just fortifies our belief that they are not comfortable and that makes me very pleased. We are holding it together and have hope that the New Year will bring with it some good news. We must be very careful about our whereabouts and what we write about, but it’s important that all of you that follow us know we are safe and doing well. We are strong and nothing has dampened our determination.

There are more clashes in Bahrain, but they don't seem to be close to us. We have not had any trouble in our community, but we are aware that things are heating up elsewhere in the country. This is so sad for Bahrain, a wonderful island that has so much potential. The civil unrest is being addressed in an aggressive way, directed by the Saudi's we have heard. We don't know too much what is really going on around us because the press does not handle it openly here. Everything that is written is tempered. But plenty of news on u-tube.

We hear about things in Bahrain and Kuwait that might perk our interest in another place and time, but for now we are too consumed with our own crisis to really pay too much attention. As we have done since the children were abducted, we spend each and every day focused on either getting them back or getting some word about them. The holidays will be difficult for us, we try not to think about it. However, we are gathering our strength and won't let this stop us. I will write more when the circumstances are better.

Until then, we are well

Sandra

Dec 6, 2011

2011-12-06T18:15:00.000-05:00

It has been a few days since I last blogged, I was sick with the flu. I am fully recovered now. Nothing new to report from us that differs from all the other blogs with regards to the children. We have received no phone calls or visit offers, we have had no word about the children. We are keeping our resolve up and keep working on whatever we can to get these children back but we are now entering the Christmas holidays and it may hinder our progress. We are always hopeful, never giving up hope.

This was a very happy time for us in the past, the children loved being with family and enjoying the festivities. They always made things to give to people, no matter what religion, because this is a time for giving and it gave them great pleasure to make drawings, cards, cookies, and art projects that they could wrap up and give all their friends and family. This is a time of year when the children get their holiday from school and they would spend it enjoying the snow and going to the slopes, building snowmen, drinking hot chocolate, and sitting by the fire at night. In school, they would be preparing for their holiday musicals and decorating their classrooms. This year, they will not be doing any of these things. I wonder if they will even be allowed to ask about it. I am sure their cousins are celebrating, as they attend the American school in Saudi. Unfortunately, our children aren't so lucky. They must attend the Arabic school which views Christmas holidays as an evil practice. I would love to think someone might feel sorry for them because they must be sad and heartbroken at this time of year not to see their family, cousins, aunts, uncles, and grannies, not to get those hugs and kisses, those wonderful sing-a-longs, or help bake pies and cakes, and maybe try to offer them some sort of compassion. But knowing this family as we have come to know them, I doubt that will happen.

We are hurting now more than ever, we see all the families making plans to travel and celebrate their Christmas holidays in Europe or the States, but they won't be doing the same. Other family members in their family are making their plans, they won't miss out on the fun, they will travel and they will enjoy their holiday to the fullest. Our children, as they were for Eid, be left behind, locked down behind those walls. This is the price their father has deemed necessary to fulfill his own selfish needs and wants. The children's needs and wants has never come into the equation.

We are persevering on, holding onto each other. Our family will most likely sit out the holidays in our homes, as we did Thanksgiving and other special days such as the twins birthdays, missing them and having no such desire to fake interest in or partake in festive celebrations. We have nothing to celebrate right now, without them we are not whole. But, we will be one day and we will make up for all that they missed.

We have been on the move a great deal lately, and will be doing a great deal of traveling. We have been in and out of Saudi, under their radar, close by, but they are oblivious to our presence, and that is good.

Until then, we are well.

Sandra

Dec 3, 2011

2011-12-03T15:41:00.000-05:00

Another day without the children. We're not being given even a phone call to hear their voices or any news as to how they are doing. What we do get are more radical responses to our attempts to make contact or pursue any legal rights we may have. They are offended, yes offended, by our persistence to see our children again. They are annoyed at our outrage and audacity to continue our campaign to have my daughter's rights as a parent even heard in court, much less actively pursued. How can human beings who claim to be good Muslims, good people in general and who publicly help charities and organizations for children yet behind their closed gates, deny a mother her children? How can they reconcile in their minds the distinction between fellow human beings and their own grandchildren? They can chair seminars and fund raise to assist those in need, yet they come home to 3 children held without their mother. What logic do they use to see this as right?

They are alarmed by our interference in their lives, but what they fail to see is that the more they take away from us, the less we have to lose. By coming to some agreement or allowing some civilized contact with the children, we have no motive to stop pursuing them. We just want what is right, what is fair, what God grants to all women who give birth to their children, the right to see them and hold them, the right to be there for them and show them we love them. If a woman gives up her children by choice, she knows the penalty for that decision. When the children are taken from her, she will never stop fighting for them. What don't they get about this? Are we suppose to just go away, pretend these 3 children don't exist? Are we suppose to find a way to move on without them in our lives? That's what they are expecting, that's what they are saying, and that's what they intend to do!

By use of force, threats, or bribery, they try to make each day of our lives that much harder. By attacking us, they think this will go away. If they pressure us enough each and every day, we will forget the day my grand daughter was born, the hours of labor, or the months spent in the hospital in a bed preventing the premature birth of the twins, or the hours and days we spent standing over their small cribs in ICU after their birth, or the hours giving baths, doing homework, riding bikes, laughing at movies, dancing on tables, flying pretend planes, videotaping recitals and plays...Nothing is forgotten! And no amount of pressure, lies, money, or power will remove that from our hearts, it only makes us stronger and stronger.

I am angry today, they continue their campaign against us in every slimy way they can, but it won't deter us. I am here, my daughter is here, and we will not stop until they are back with us. They must know, or at least fear, the wrath of God, for he sees all and knows all.

Until then, we are well,
Sandra

Dec 1, 2011

2011-12-01T18:58:00.000-05:00

It is getting considerably more difficult to write my blog. Since our

last news that the Boston courts did not accept jurisdiction, we

struggle to keep our spirits up. We do have other avenues that we are

exploring, but that will take more months. We keep in touch with all

those working with us on this, and we do our homework daily but it

seems to be a slow and tedious process. We haven't heard anything

about or from the kids. We just keep hoping for some news soon,

anything that would reassure us that they are doing okay.

It appears that things are heating up in this region again. In

Bahrain, they stormed a female mosque and injured women during the

month of Ashoora. This is a time when Shite Muslims self-inflict pain

on themselves as penitence. It is a month of strong religious

overtones and things can get out of hand quickly. We don't have the

details as to what exactly happened, but it wasn't pleasant. In

Saudi, Riyadh has been experiencing some rumbling and some buildings

were set ablaze. As we can expect, there is no news on this coming

out of Saudi so we can only speculate on its cause. In Kuwait, the

Government has resigned, and soon the Parliament will be abolished

again. This isn't that unusual for Kuwait, since they have done this

several times in the past. What is interesting about this new

development is that the Prime Minister has resigned as well, and this

time his resignation has been accepted by the Government. This will

mean new elections in the country and possible restructuring of high

Government positions. We can only wait and see. This could translate

into good things for us in Saudi, more unrest might provide pressure

for the Government to want some good PR. We can hope.

Finally managed to get some boxes with our winter clothes in them. We

are able to put away that one suitcase and begin wearing something we

haven't worn for weeks, that's a plus!

We have met so many people

here that have informed us that the abduction of the children is being

talked about everywhere in this region. It appears to be coming out

of Saudi. We don't know many of these people, but they know

immediately when we introduce ourselves, why we are here. I guess

what they say about bad news traveling fast is true. This gives us a

lift at this time, knowing that they can't keep this secret any

longer, too many people are aware of it and are talking. Although we

had nothing to do with the gossip, we enjoy it just the same.

As a well-known saying, "The darkest hour is just before the dawn", we

keep the faith and know our work has just begun. We will have those

children back with us.

We are well,

Sandra

Nov 29, 2011

2011-11-29T16:43:00.000-05:00

Another cold day here. Pulled out the sweaters and sweatpants- the only thing cool about being covered in a long, black robe (abia), we can get away with anything under them. But I'm not sure the cold chill is coming from the weather or from our awareness of just how corrupt people can be, while appearing to be upstanding civic leaders. Learned today that more backroom politics going on, reaching into every level of government and society. We've been guarded since the beginning of this, quite aware of their tactics from observing them in action with business deals, but now we are even more on the alert. We don't know who they have bought off, who we can trust, who is watching us or following us, so we just assume that we can't trust anyone. Today, a woman who works for me part-time, a job I gave her when her husband left her and she needed to support her two children in her home country and had no place to live, received a phone call from them threatening to come and take her belongings. She has very few possessions and what she has, I gave her! These were mine to give, but now the accusations are being made that these belong to my ex-son-in-law and he wants them back. I assured her that this was just another way to intimidate me and he would not be coming to take anything back. I left word with the security that if someone shows up to harass her, call me and I will make sure someone leaves, and it won't be me. Have we come to that? Threatening poor immigrant workers who have very little? Shame on them!

I have come to realize that our problem, from the beginning, is that we are too honest. Since when did "doing the right thing" become a dirty thing? If we were more ruthless, more deceitful and underhanded, we would be in a better position today. We had the children with us, we could have kept them and they would have never seen their father again. But that wasn't right, that wasn't good for the children who need both their parents and should feel secure in their lives. Getting a divorce hurts, hurts everyone involved but by being civil when it comes to the children, not putting them in the middle or using them as tools or weapons against the other, spares children from feelings of abandonment and distrust. That is what we did. What we didn't realize was that ruthless people get what they want, they will do anything and everything for their own selfish needs. To these people, children are just collateral damage. And that is why we can never give up fighting for our children. We don't want them to become one of those people, admire those values and practice those rules. We must fight that much harder.

I will leave you with a message that we received from a contact from my granddaughter. She said, "Tell Momma, every time I hear the song 'Firework' by Katy Perry, I think of her." I had to look up the lyrics and was struck by how sensitive and mature a little 6 year old girl must be to have thought of her mother while listening to these words. If you have the chance, go to http://www.directlyrics.com/katy-perry-firework-lyrics.html and read the words, it will give you chills. Perhaps, those are the chills we are feeling tonight.

We are well,

Sandra

Nov. 28, 2011

2011-11-28T14:34:00.002-05:00

Today was a very depressing day. The courts in Boston dismissed the case, as we expected. They seem to consider the abduction of 3 American children who lived in Boston for 2 years, not their jurisdiction. We were told early on that most likely this route would not be successful. As a judicial system that affords everyone equal representation, my ex-son-in-law hired a lawyer and made his case in Boston, and the judge was convinced this was not an emergency, much less jurisdiction for custody of those children. These are American children and they do have rights. We are not swayed by this, we will continue to fight. We have several avenues available to us and plan on moving ahead.

In the mean while, some of them are in London, enjoying the night life and restaurants and Christmas decorations. Their twitter accounts post pictures of them putting up a Christmas tree in their home in Saudi Arabia. The irony of this is that one of their complaints about us to the Saudi courts was that we celebrated Christmas and thus we were infidels. They told the judge that they wanted to raise the children in an Islamic, Saudi environment and could not allow such evil Western practices. Funny, how their lies and sworn testimony is so easily dismissed outside of the courts. They have purposely used Western educational systems to get their degrees, businesses and purchase homes. It becomes an "evil" place when they want to keep American children locked behind closed doors. This has certainly been a blow today, but not one unexpected.

We are strong and we will not give up. They have won this battle, but not the war. Our efforts and your efforts will not go unheard. We have not yet begun to fight, and this little set back will not be the final chapter. Our children are not for sale! No amount of money or corruption or political influence will deter us. As a matter of fact, all their deeds will come to light one day as God protects the innocent and good people, his tactics may be confusing at times, but it is there for all to see when the time is right.

The sad part of all of this is that my granddaughter with CP is being ignored and our chance of getting her the medical treatments she needs is being pushed back further and further. Where is the humanity in this? And let us not forget the emotional and psychological damage being done daily to the other two children, who don't understand where their mommy is. A lonely, bored, depressed grandmother and a pathetic spinster aunt are not mother substitutes. Nannies cannot replace a mother's love, either. So, we fight on and we stay strong and more determined than ever.

Pray for us, and keep up the good work you are doing in the States.

Love to all, we are well,

Sandra

Nov 26, 2011

2011-11-26T13:35:00.000-05:00

We ate a meal today with the family, no turkey however. We tried to put together a meal and went around the table giving thanks for all the things that we do have. We were thankful that our health is good. We were thankful for our grandchildren being healthy, although we don't have any word from them, we are assuming they are physically fine and in today's world of abduction for worse reasons, that is something to be thankful for. Most of all we are thankful for all the people for their support with our situation and all that you are doing to help us. I have read your remarks about your messages to Hillary Clinton and we are so touched by your honest and sincere concern. We know that getting our children back is on every one's minds, but taking the time to actually do something productive and caring is awesome. We are so thankful for great friends and family like you.

We have heard that they family had turkey dinner at home, and then went for a big turkey dinner outside the home. Of course, our children were not invited. They stayed at home again, locked away. While all the rest of the family enjoyed their dinner and social event, our children were home alone. It is interesting to read how much fun they had together, as a family, pictures and tweets about it, but not one person mentioned the children sitting at home. How can they find pleasure in this? It would be one thing if they refused to attend such functions due to some deep level of compassion or apathy for those who would not be attending, but this is not the case. It was a normal day for them, and the fact the children were not included didn't seem to slow them down one bit. We, on the other hand, put together a dinner with only immediate family and sat quietly trying not to think about the pink elephant in the room. We did bring up the last time we sat like this, remembering how the children loved to share their cousin's home and slept with him when they visited last, or remembering how they loved to help bake pies or played on the trampoline while the women cooked. But, we tried to stay away from talking about it too much because it was too sad and made us want to cry. Instead, we talked about the weather, the politics, school and work. We managed to get through the meal but the air was thick with sorrow, the conversation was forced and we all felt it. We will never miss another meal together, and my grandson will never have to sit a plate in front of a seat for his cousins knowing that it will remain empty.

We are anticipating our upcoming court dates and keeping the faith that we will be triumphant. Regardless of this sad weekend, we are thankful. You have made this a wonderful thanksgiving for different reasons and we will never forget this. God works in mysterious ways, he will open those doors he wants open and people will enter our lives for a reason.

God Bless all of you this weekend,

Sandra

Nov 25, 2011

2011-11-25T15:04:00.000-05:00

Been on the move again. Went to my son's for some rest from the game playing going on. Received an email asking to meet and come to some agreement, although I was hopeful, I had my doubts about the sincerity of the offer. This type of offer has come several times, but each time it comes to nothing when the meeting never materializes. And, as we geared up for the meeting, the day before the expected email came that informed us that the meeting was off. Why make an offer for a meeting in the first place? This offer came just one day after receiving the threat concerning some mysterious email to one of his partner companies in the States. So, the timing was very odd and suspicious. But, since it was something we expected, keeping to his pattern of threats, meaningless words implying the possibility of an agreement and seeing the kids, then nothing. How long do they think they can play this game?

Still nothing from the children. It was a difficult time for my entire family, thanksgiving. Most of my family decided not to celebrate thanksgiving because it is just too painful without the kids. We are close, and we can get together as a family to support one another anytime we want, the idea of sitting down and having a wonderful turkey dinner with 3 empty seats was just too much to bear. So, it is just another day for us. But we wish all our family and friends a happy thanksgiving, because there are so many things to be thankful for, outside of this tragedy. Our driver has become family to us, he goes everywhere with us, and he is very protective. We are blessed to have found him. So we may try to have a meal sent to him. All of us are devoting our time and lives to this, he deserves a rest as well.

The weather has finally turned cold, at least for those of us in the Middle East. Cold here is hovering around 51 degrees (F). There was a time when that would be nice sweater weather, a nice day for hiking or walking in the park, taking a bike ride, but we do none of these things. Instead, we are fully booked for next week with meetings. I wonder what the kids are doing at this time. As we are in Saudi, I often pass their house and look at those high walls and thick doors, and think to myself, they are just behind those walls, yet they are miles away. We still decorate their bedroom in anticipation for a visit one day, putting things on the wall, buying bed linens that little kids would like, or placing their favorite toothpaste in the bathroom. We will keep stockpiling and wait for that day when they can come for a visit, even for a couple of hours. Just to be able to hold them for a little while and reassure them that we love them and that we are not going anywhere would be something more than we have now.

We will be back in court soon, fighting for our rights. Until then, we are well.

Sandra

Nov 21, 2011

2011-11-21T13:02:00.000-05:00

Today was a stressful day for us, not because of anything we heard but because we haven't heard anything. The not knowing is so difficult to handle. We don't know if my granddaughter is struggling in school with all the demands she is not use to, or if they are dealing with my youngest granddaughter’s disability with grace and kindness. The simple things in life are the things that eat us up; what are they eating? Who is reading to them before bed, is anyone? Who is talking to them when they get "sad", as my granddaughter says she gets often. Is anyone massaging my granddaughter’s legs when they ache after a day of walking or when her braces rub a blister on her ankles? Are they even aware that her braces do that? Are they aware that they need to pay special attention to my grandson, who tends to be quiet and non-demanding, easy-going, he can easily get pushed to the back when it comes to attention. Because my oldest granddaughter is outgoing and expresses herself well, they tend to her needs, or when my granddaughter with special needs complains of being tired, they may tend to her. But, he never complains. He is just goes away and sits by himself, and it is easy to ignore him. We made a special effort to always give him his own time, to make sure we focused on favorite games or books. We took turns giving each child special time alone with us, giving them quality time to be loved and cuddled, who is doing that now? Do they know these children well enough to understand their needs? These are the things that haunt us.

We have been suffering from sleep deprivation lately. We aren't able to sleep, and it’s not unusual to have all the lights on at four in the morning, drinking coffee and sitting in a rocking chair alone. I often find my daughter doing this. She suffers from nightmares and will wake up looking for the kids. I have been doing that lately as well. Our lives are so torn that when we do sleep, it’s a sleep marred by nightmares so real that we wake up and have to be reassured that it wasn't real. We relive moments with the kids, we relive discussions we had them and we feel their arms around us. But when we wake, they aren't there. It’s very painful. Most nights we go over and over, in our heads, every single word spoken to lawyers, judges, police, and anyone we met that day. We can't turn it off. We try, but even when we don't talk about it, it’s there like the pink elephant in the room. When we meet people, for the first time, the pink elephant is in the room. They ask us why we are here; in Saudi, in Kuwait, in Bahrain. What do we tell them? The truth? That makes for pleasant conversation. So we just give the highlights, a short summary of things and then pretend to care about what is going on in their lives. We always come home and return to that pink elephant in the room. Even as tired as we were yesterday from our busy day, we were unable to sleep last night.

I called and spoke to an old friend on the phone at four in the morning. It was nice to hear about all the people we love, to catch up on their daily lives. We have so many friends in the States and Kuwait who constantly check in with us. My elderly mother-in-law in Kuwait sits up each night praying extra prayers for our safety and the children's return. She is frail and doesn't need this stress in her life, but she refuses to be kept out of the loop. Family members in the States send emails each day with prayers and support. It doesn't matter if they are Muslim or Christian, they all pray for God's intervention. This is what gets us through our day, the knowledge that good people from many different places are praying for us and God is listening. He has a plan, we must be patient.

It will soon be seven months since they were taken. Seven months we will never get back, and they will never get back. But it is a mere speck in the cycle of life, we will make it up to them one day. Does that knowledge make our separation any easier? No. But we will push on, we will continue to fight. Our suffering is done in the dark hours of the night, for during the day we march.

We are well,

Sandra

Nov 20, 2011

2011-11-21T08:45:00.001-05:00

Today was a long day of running and chasing after paperwork and getting prepared for upcoming court dates. After all our efforts, we are tired. But it is a good tired, one that is satisfying when one knows that they have done all they can do and everyone is working together like clockwork. We finally sat down tonight and plan on a hot bath and sleep.

Nothing new to report on the babies. They have not gone anywhere or anyone seen them. They are being kept very close. We have made several attempts to communicate with their father about arranging something, but this has not been successful. There are rumors strangely swirling around, not sure what is up yet. But we are keeping a close watch on things. Unfortunately, we aren't able to talk about much of the progress at this time, but it is there and we are running behind it.

My daughter has been showing the strain of stress, her hair is falling out in clumps, and she has a difficult time sleeping. She still manages to get up and do whatever is needed that day or today, but she collapses at night. We both are ready for something to break and then, we will be all over it. Until then, we are keeping our spirits high and doing our best. We will be with those children again.

I am going to keep it short today, I think I need some rest and relaxation as well. I miss all of you and wish I was there with you. Trust me when I say this, we are gaining ground and this will turn into a wild ride before long.

We are well,

Sandra

Nov 18, 2011

2011-11-18T15:16:00.000-05:00

Today was a much better day for us emotionally. We have been working on necessary paperwork and contacting those with influence on this case. We feel stronger than ever and can feel the tide is changing. This gave us a much needed boost to our energy levels and inspiration to keep moving forward. We have been so blessed to have so many people working with us in several countries, each individual bringing hope and positive messages that we thrive on. We can't possibly tell you how much we are thankful for that.

We are still waiting for those all important rulings from the States, Saudi and other countries involved. Believe me, we are leaving no rock unturned in our pursuit to get our children back. We are getting small bits of information out about the well being of our children, not much to go on but it is better than nothing. Nothing directly new about the children, since we aren't able to contact them personally nor are any of our contacts able to reach them personally. All our news is from third parties who want to help but are cautious about talking to us. They fear reprisals from this family as well. But what news we do get is basically the children are still being kept inside the home, they don't leave the compound and they are not allowed to receive any visitors, except our oldest who has a play date brought to her occasionally. The twins receive no such privileges.

As for us, we managed to get out today and walk around our compound. It is a pleasant day, with sunshine in the low 80's. It was nice to have this chance to walk, get our endorphins pumping, and come back with much better attitudes. We have hesitated to do this before now, but as the days wear on and the security guards have gotten to know us, we feel comfortable moving around. They are always watching over us and very protective. They know us by name and know what to watch for, thus it gives us some comfort to actually relax in our own home. And that is something we haven't had for quite a while now. It feels good not having look over our shoulder all the time. But we are still on the move a great deal, moving from country to country to attend hearings, meet with lawyers and meet with people who are willing to help us. At any given time, we could be anywhere. But for today, we are here and we had a rather normal day for us. My daughter actually laughed today and I saw a glimpse of her old self when she talked about her future plans. That was nice.

Thank you for all your support and encouragement, it keeps me focused on what I need to do and I know that you are there to urge me on by your kind remarks. I know there are those who support us and read my blog daily, but can't communicate directly with me, that's okay. I know you are there by the growing number on my blog counter, and that is very reassuring. Perhaps we will see all of you soon.

We are well,

Sandra

Nov 17, 2011

2011-11-17T14:48:00.002-05:00

Today has been a quieter day with regards to emails, but it was also a tough day for us regarding the children. We usually manage to stay so busy focusing on legal matters and meetings that we are able to push the pain to the background. But today was one of those days that we have come to dread, quiet. With no communications from lawyers or judges, meeting or paperwork to occupy our minds we are forced to deal directly with the loneliness for the kids. Looking through our cell phones today we came across pictures of the last day we were with the kids. It was extremely difficult. I had come for coffee that morning and was sitting at the kitchen table when I heard my grandson wake up in the other room. I went to his bed and picked him up and hugged him. He sat on my lap a long time that morning, snuggled up against me while I drank my coffee and talked. He finally climbed down and went off to play. Later that morning, I went on to work and they all swam in the pool. My daughter took pictures of them sliding into the water and jumping off the sides of the pool. It was such a happy moment. I didn't get to see the girls that day because they were still asleep and I didn't want to wake them up. I remember tip-toeing past their room to get my grandson's clothes that morning. The next morning, they would be gone.

We never dared to look at those pictures, too painful for us, but today we came across them while looking for new pictures that my daughter-in-law took of their new babies. As I scrolled through the pictures, there they were. My daughter found them first, I knew something was up because she became very still and quiet. I looked at her face and I knew something was wrong. The hurt was very clear on her face, the pain was in her eyes. When I asked her what was wrong, she said, "Mom, here are the pictures I took the last day we were with the kids." I slowly walked to sit beside her and looked at the cell phone in her hands. I saw those bright eyes, their sparkling smiles and their look of pure love as they looked into the camera for those pictures. It tore us apart. I held my daughter as she cried and begged me for some answers. Why would someone do this? Why would someone destroy a family like this? How could a person do this to his children? I had no answers. I cried along with her.

I was happy to see those pictures, it reminded me of what wonderful children they are. It gave me a glimpse of how life was before; before we were bitter and tired, before we were consumed by emotion and pain, before we became shallow human beings waiting for a single word, a single phone call, a single look at them. It reminded me that we have to get them back, we have to. We will never be the same without them. They made us whole, they gave us laughter and joy in just the simple things in life. We loved baking cookies, or watching a movie together, we loved bathing them and drying their hair. We loved all the things that a mother does with her children, like the entire world does. Money can't buy that. Nannies can't replace that. Aunties can't become loving mothers because they are empty spinsters and have no purpose in life but now they think they do. I remember my mother saying that carrying a baby for nine months and giving birth to that child, is the easy part. Raising those children will take the rest of your life, because you never stop being a mother. I understand that now. I watch my daughter suffer, and I can't help her. I feel her pain and the pain of those children, I don't know if anyone fully understands that. I have not only lost my grandchildren, I have had to endure the pain and suffering of one of my children as well. I have had to pick her up from the floor, watch her as she finally falls to sleep for fear she may never wake up, be there for her to lean on when she can't go any further. Most of all, I have to keep pushing and keep fighting, be her strength so that she doesn't have to worry about that as well.

So when a man tells me I am "at it again", you are damn right I am! Until those children are back in our arms, our world will never be the same. No one human being has the right to do that to another human being; men, women, children, grandparents, uncles, aunts, family and friends. Those are things worth fighting for. Remember that when you sit down for Thanksgiving. We have recovered and will be back to work on it tomorrow, but today was tough.

We are well,

Sandra

Nov 16, 2011

2011-11-16T19:45:00.000-05:00

Today was another day for interesting developments. Today we received a threatening email from my ex-son-in-law. Apparently, according to his email, an email or emails, not sure which, has or have been sent to a "partner company" in the United States. Not sure what this is all about, but it is very nice having this news. He is accusing me of doing this, which I find entertaining. I don't know which company or if it’s several companies or what these "phantom" emails say, but it is not surprising. They really think that they can do what they did and continue to do and no one would find out? Knowing how his is infamous for his falsehoods, it may be a hoax; if not, is it something that upset him greatly. He seems to think that I single- handedly authored these emails (or email) and has threatened me with his lawyer in the States and the police in Saudi Arabia. I am actually flattered that he thinks that I am his single most important enemy in all of this. If I had to guess, it would seem logical that his competitors would take advantage of this situation to move in on his businesses. When a man has made so much money from American companies, it is not a stretch of the imagination to think he might have stepped on some toes along the way. I know he has made many unsavory business deals in his career and this may be his pay back from them. Who knows? All I know is that he is very upset and he is firing on me, about which I could care less. I just hope it was a "partner company" that means a great deal to him. Receiving the news today that someone has been emailing his companies in the States is priceless.

As for the children, it is much the same. We have received no word from them and if his email is any evidence, he has no intention of changing that anytime soon. Obviously, he is only concerned with his company portfolio, not the children. His email to us dealt with that topic only. The children's welfare was not brought up, nor any indication of their seeing their mother. He just rants on and on about some mysterious emails and how I must be behind them. He states that I am at it "again." As if my unwillingness to accept the circumstances in which he is keeping the children from their mother and their family, is unjustified. I am at it again? He has never stopped his harassment of us. He has threatened us, locked us down, followed us, lied about us in court, took everything my daughter ever had, and we should just go away quietly and not make a stir. We are the "crazy" ones because we still keep insisting on my daughter's parental rights? The rights the courts have given us and he has violated time and time again. The rights any parent has to see their children. He dares to stand on the "higher" ground by stating that I am at it again? He has no higher ground. He is in the pit of humanity and his underbelly is covered with the mud of criminal actions. I think he must be a very scared man right now, why else would he be grabbing at straws and try to blame me for emails to his American partner? He should try looking at those around him and those he has stepped on over the years, the list is too long to even attempt to identify.

So, I am the easy target, a grandmother of 7 , a woman in his male dominated world, and woman who has little or no rights in Saudi Arabia. Notice, he does not write threatening emails to any male member of my family, or any legal representative of my family, or even someone face to face. He chooses instead to single me out in an email. That type of behavior is embarrassing for a man in this part of the world. Real men deal with other men, not elderly women.

But, this is a man who abducted his children and has kept them locked down and away from their mother for no other reason than, he can. How sad is that. He continues to live up to his reputation.

We are well, and this has by no means rattled us. It has been a source of amusement and delight, learning new knowledge that other forces are at play here that we had not anticipated but welcome.

Sandra

Nov 14, 2011

2011-11-14T16:45:00.000-05:00

Another day of getting up early, heading to court in Saudi Arabia and back again. Today, however, we were struck by our own ability to adjust and adapt to the changing culture. If anyone had told us a year ago that we would be getting around Saudi Arabia as we do, we would have never believed it. We have been in places that few outsiders see, we are so used to these places that we now come and go and actually are recognized by the people working there. They know us by sight, which is unusual since the only thing showing on my daughter is her eyes and nothing is showing of my face, completely veiled in black. But they somehow know us, they refer to us by name and we enter into rooms that women are not usually permitted to go. But we have shown them a great deal of respect and they appreciate that, and they know why we are here. They know that we are fighting for a just cause and they all seem to understand and sympathize with us. They are kind and always offer us tea or coffee and ask us if they can help. It makes us feel good to know that we are making an impact where we originally thought we had no chance. Perhaps it’s because we don't give up and we demonstrate daily our determination to see this thing through, that they have come to respect us as well. All I know is that we are stronger for it, we have grown from it and we are capable of handling anything that may come our way, we have pooled our strength and found it limitless. We know we will achieve our goals.

We have not heard anything about the children today. We don't know what they are doing or how they are, but we keep trying to reach them somehow. I know that this family is not happy with us right now, and that actually gives me reason to smile. I hope that each day they wake up, they cringe at the sound of our names and as they go to bed each night, they curse our names. By doing this, we know we are getting to them, we are hitting our mark to make their lives as difficult as possible in hopes that they will be forced to come to some resolution. We will see.

I love reading all your daily messages on Facebook, it makes me yearn to be back with all of you. I love the phone calls I get telling me the latest news about friends and family; this somehow makes me feel stronger knowing that all of you are well and continuing on with life. I know that you have all offered your support and assistance, and that is enough for me. Please be thankful on Thanksgiving Day for your family, children, friends and neighbors, because they need to be told how much you care about them. Life is too short and we can get carried away with our own daily drama and forget how very special each and every day is.

As someone once told me, each night before he sleeps, he says, "There goes another day that I will never get back." I found that to be profound. If we all think about that, we will make each day count, as we are here. We fight each day, making each day count, and the effort is paying off. God Bless all of you.

We are well,

Sandra

Nov 13, 2011

2011-11-13T15:19:00.000-05:00

Crossed over the bridge today to Saudi. Working on the case and meeting with people in Saudi again. Nothing new to report, more of the same. Had lunch in a restaurant, sitting in the "family/"women's"section, and watched all the women coming in with their children. It was interesting to see these women come through the doors completely covered, as we were, then drop their black coverings once in the restaurant. We were in a section of the restaurant no men are allowed, except the waiters-all men, and these women took on the appearance of being in a restaurant anywhere in the world. It was surreal to see the transformation of their body language and, in some cases, their faces once they were allowed to drop the veils and headscarves. They became relaxed and talkative, enjoying their meals and conversing as any woman would do in any restaurant. But once the meal was done, they, as we did as well, covered up and withdrew back into the blackness of their abias and hajabs. The irony of life is not without some comic relief I noticed.

The same could be said for visiting IKEA today, looking for bed linens and things for our home. At first glance, we could be anywhere in the world at any IKEA, but then we noticed that the women were all covered and each body was much the same as the next body, black, black, black. It was even more surreal to watch them entering and exiting into their cars, cautious not to look in any general direction of a man, their drivers lined up outside the main door waiting for them. I guess when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. They are making it work, as restrictive as it is, they are making it work.

We collected toys and stuffed animals and things the kids would like in their rooms. Although we haven't seen them or talked to them, we know they would like these things. We do this because we hope and pray that one day they will be with us, sleeping in their beds and playing with their toys as they always did. We have to keep this positive attitude or we will crumble under the hurt and pain. We buy things in their favorite colors or things that we know they like to do such as painting or drawing, books and crafts. We keep collecting these things and one day we will give them to them. This is our band aid, our relief, and sometimes it is our sanity.

Their father is still gone on his trip, they are still locked down behind the walls but we try not to think about that. We relentlessly pursue our goals, one day at a time. It is quickly coming to a point that they cannot isolate themselves from the justice that we seek. We are applying pressure from many different sources and we make sure they do not have a comfortable day in their home. We didn't want it to be this way, but we can't afford to give up for one minute. They are hoping that we will eventually go away, leave them in peace. But we will not.

We are well; crossing the bridge, crossing the desert, bouncing from one place to another is a small price to pay in order to have our children back with us.

As a friend of mine said, a storm is brewing.

Sandra

Nov 11, 2011

2011-11-11T15:35:00.000-05:00

Today was a day preparing for moving. We are on the road early tomorrow, heading into the desert and back into Saudi. It was a wonderful time seeing my grand babies but this was just a small reprieve from the constant court battles we have been and will be enduring. It was nice while it lasted. We found out today that my ex-son-in-law sailed his daddy’s yacht to the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix races with his brother, who was involved in the taking of the children and is visting from Los Angeles. They posted pictures on their twitter account, wanting to show the world how well they are doing. To quote their twitter, "it is dope!" Nice, real nice. The children, as we know, are not with him. They are back home locked down as we all have come to expect. It’s nice that they can enjoy the festivities and go on with life as if they didn't have 3 abducted children sitting at home. The crowd and the "hanger-ons" must have loved them, they are the life of the party, since they always bring music, booze and fun with them. The irony is that they don't divulge their little dirty secret, they are holding 3 American children hostage in their home in Saudi. That would spoil all the fun!

We had a bad morning this morning. We got up and found ourselves gearing up, once again, for the courts in 3 countries. This is something we have been doing now for over 6 1/2 months. We are tired, we are sad and we can't stand being in front of another judge that tells us that we must wait to hear a verdict. Our court case in Boston is still out waiting on a verdict....over 9 weeks and counting. The judge is taking his time, no hurry, just 3 American children being held in Saudi Arabia. But, we are powerless to speed this process up. The same is for our case in Saudi, waiting for the highly expected verdict there to proceed with our plans. In addition, we have court in Kuwait and Bahrain this coming week. We are jumping around so much that we don't know what clothes we have or could have left sitting behind somewhere. All our things are still in boxes and we are still living out of the same suitcase we brought with us from the States in September. The weather is getting cold now and we have to find some winter clothes. So we may need to buy some or borrow some, the last thing we feel like doing right now is clothes shopping.

As for the kids, they are well hidden. We haven't heard anything from them. We don't know how they are doing or if they are getting new winter clothes. We only know that they are not allowed to talk to anyone. We managed to slip a phone number to my oldest granddaughter a few weeks ago, it was found by one of the nannies and turned in. She has tried to call us several times on the house phone and was caught, and told never to use the phone. They have left strict rules that she or the other children are not allowed to answer or use the phones in the house. They have made this the responsibility of the entire household of servants. Imagine what might happen if they actually got to talk to us? What are they afraid of? Are they afraid that the children may ask to see us or worse yet, let them go? Their policy is to prevent any possible communication, thus they can erase us from their lives completely. But we won't allow that to happen.

Yes, we are tired. But this does not stop us. We are back on the horse tomorrow, bringing a bigger stick to the fight!

Until we have them back, we are well.

Sandra

Nov 9, 2011

2011-11-09T14:44:00.001-05:00

As presented to the United Nations, "Children who have been psychologically violated and maltreated through the act of abduction, are more likely to exhibit a variety of psychological and social handicaps. These handicaps make them vulnerable to detrimental outside influences (Rand, 1997). Huntington (1982) lists some of the deleterious effects of parental child abduction on the child victim:

1. Depression;

2. Loss of community;

3. Loss of stability, security, and trust;

4. Excessive fearfulness, even of ordinary occurrences;

5. Loneliness;

6. Anger;

7. Helplessness;

8. Disruption in identity formation; and

9. Fear of abandonment.

Many of these untoward effects can be subsumed under the problems relevant to Reactive Attachment Disorder..."

One thing that I did not include, but very important, is a child's feelings about guilt. We have seen all of these symptoms in our children, and they dared to bring a cousin in to inform our granddaughter that it was her father's turn to have her and she shouldn't cry. This only added to the massive amount of harm that is being done. Immediately, the most noticeable thing that people tell us they notice when they see the kids is their helplessness, especially the two younger children. They don't resist anything told to them, they obey without an argument. The older one is still kicking and fighting, but she is being slowly worn down as well. The two younger children accept things, we are told, as if they have no choice. They don't even try to ask for anything that might be refused. The oldest has openly mentioned her loneliness and anger, she has said that she has guilt because she should have done something. We have relayed messages to them that no matter what, they are not to blame and we love them and will be with them soon. We hope this gets through to them.

They think that they can just buy away any child abuse or negative side effects of this trauma from the children, but they don't even understand the full extent of the damage. They think promising the children a "puppy", as they did when this first happened, then lying about it and not delivering this "puppy" slipped by the children. It didn't. They still talk about this fictional puppy, but now instead of wanting a puppy, my oldest granddaughter says, "I don't want a puppy now, they are dirty and they stink." Who told them that? Who convinced them that their love of animals was wrong? They are messing with the minds of small children, and yes, this is child abuse!

Thank you for all your kind remarks today. I wanted you to know why their well being is at jeopardy; a mansion, a staff of nannies, drivers, cooks and gardeners cannot change that. They are being held from their mother, they have lost their sense of identity and belonging, their security. This report hit home as it has never done before, because now we are seeing these characteristics in our children. This just makes us more determined than ever, and perhaps those authorities that are in charge of such things in the States will take a closer look at what is going on for too long.

We are still here, fighting! We are well.

Sandra

Nov 8, 2011

2011-11-08T18:35:00.002-05:00

An interesting day today. Today everyone celebrated Eid holiday with their family, and we assumed that this was true for my grandchildren as well and this thought gave us some small fraction of comfort. We could imagine that they too were receiving gifts and chocolates and wearing Eid clothes and enjoying their holiday, even if they were not with us. But today we found out that this was not so. The family, instead, all of them including the old man and grandmother, cousins, aunts and uncles, the entire family, were at their beach house, leaving the children alone in the home. They were left behind with the nannies to study Arabic with a tutor. They didn't get to enjoy the beach, the sand and water, but were forced to stay at home and be excluded from any family plans. This didn't stop them from enjoying the entire day at the beach house with the other members of their family, getting up early, packing up the car with food and meat for a cook out, and enjoying a blissful, relaxed day playing with all the other grandchildren. My grandchildren were forced to watch them load the car up, gather their sand toys and food, extra clothing if it got cool and their general family harmony while they knew that they would not be part of this. They would be staying behind those high walls and gates, studying instead. This must have been a sad day for them, they had to be feeling left out and alone. But, their happiness was not a priority, their needs were not considered, they were locked down and put away on a shelf like a doll that a child doesn't want to throw away when they have tired of it, as it may be expensive and a collectible, so they are kept neatly tucked away. Would someone feel the need to sacrifice and entertain at home, avoiding the scene of abandonment for these children? Did anyone feel a pang of regret or remorse at leaving them behind? I think not. This is who we are dealing with.

Their father is planning a trip away for a much needed holiday for 5 days. He will be gone, partying and enjoying the festivities at the races. He does not hesitate to enjoy his life, simply takes turns with those in the house to take his trips, they take theirs, they make their plans and each take turns playing warden to the children locked down. How civilized of them. How noble a gesture, to see that someone is watching them, bathing them, feeding them, grooming them, much like a household pet. They didn't miss the festivities in Paris, his brother posting pictures of his wonderful trip to Paris with his family on the Internet. Missing, however, were 3 small children. As his brothers dine at the most expensive restaurants in LA, or travel to the Hamptons for huge birthday bashes or London to enjoy the clubbing scene, these children are forgotten. They take pleasure in announcing their whereabouts on their twitters and they don't seem to mind who reads them, thus I must assume they are doing this as a way to demonstrate their confidence or arrogance in thinking they have nothing to fear, not to mention the pain it may inflict upon those of us left behind and missing the children.

But one day, there will be a reckoning. There will come a time when they will wish they had not posted their every move on the Internet, posted pictures that show how much fun they are having, or doing interviews with local papers and magazines about how successful they are and how they have joined U.S. companies and broken into the American business world. The courts are slow moving, and we must wait, but we have not yet begun to fight. My grandchildren are so resilient and resourceful, they will manage to find a way to entertain themselves and manage a outwardly happy appearance, they are from strong stock, but make no mistake, they are hurting and we will not tolerate this pain.

For now, we are well,

Sandra

Nov 7, 2011

2011-11-07T15:09:00.002-05:00

Today was much of the same thing as every day. Yesterday was Sunday, didn't expect much from the States' side, and since its Eid holiday here, nothing more expected from Saudi. As I mentioned in my earlier blogs, my ex-son-in-law took everything when he took the kids, clothing included. But what you may not know is that my daughter did manage to save one thing, a gift he gave her as a result of her dowry when they got married. He made promises at that time to give her a home, any home, anywhere in this region. It took 7 years for him to comply with those promises made in front of his uncles and father, but wait, it gets better. When he decided to take everything, he immediately began legal proceedings to take that as well. So, we have now been in court 4 times over his claiming the gift was a mistake, not a gift at all, but a trick by her to get him to give her the home. The home was never lived in, it was suppose to be an investment property, and she was to have this as a safety net if things ever went wrong in their marriage. Well, as you guessed, it did go wrong and she kept the house. She was willing to give the house back to them in return for her children, an agreement that they asked for early on after the children were taken. They pressured her with promises that if she gave up the house, they would give her a "visit" with the children. She was so desperate to see her children at that time that she agreed to anything, including the only source of income she has to live on. When they showed their true nature, did not allow a visit with the children, she refused to turn the house over. Since that time, she has sold the home. But that does not stop them from trying to get the house back or making her pay them back for the amount of money she received from the home. They are taking us to court once again over this house. They will not rest until they get it or the money back. What purpose does this house have for them? Simply a form of ultimate domain over her. They have several homes in many parts of the world, including a home in Saudi, 2 homes in Bahrain, an elite apartment in London, 2 homes in Los Angeles, California, a home in Spain, and I am sure there are more. This home is a way of making sure they have taken everything from her. It serves no other purpose. So, we are fighting in court later this month over this home, for the 4th time. Strange how people with money, want more money at any cost.

The children are still being kept in their home in Saudi, no one sees them, except their immediate family. They are not allowed to leave the house except with guards, nannies and drivers in tow. We don't actually blame these poor people who work in their home, poor people from Yemen, India, Egypt, Philippines and other poor countries that need their income to support their families. Thus, they do whatever their "boss" tells them to do. We see the look on their faces when they are forced to confront us, warn us, threaten us, or intimidate us, sometimes merely by their presence, they don't want to do it but they are as much victims to this family as we all are. But there are those who are working with the family, a lawyer who is suppose to be religious, and a "runner" who make their living by standing and testifying in court, under oath, anything the family asks them to say. It’s difficult to understand people like this, money is a powerful tool but to sell ones' soul to the devil for it is another matter. To pray 5 times a day and then stand in a Sharia court and lie is a sin beyond comprehension. What could possibly motivate such people to turn their backs on their morals and values for money? Don't they know that the ultimate judge is watching and this is a simple test for human beings on earth? This is a reality they may need to learn the hard way.

We don't know anything more than we knew yesterday, but we do know what our next few weeks look like. We know that we will be in and out of several courts in several countries, still fighting on. We hope to be in the United States fighting as well soon. If they think we have gone away because of our silence, they are making a grave mistake. The days are still long and painful without our children, this does not get any better. But we never lose hope and I know from all your wonderful letters, emails, texts, and messages that you are not giving up hope either. Thank you for being there for us, we see all your mail and messages, and we appreciate them all.

We are well,

Sandra

Nov 6, 2011

2011-11-06T08:41:00.000-05:00

Today is the first day of Eid. It was also the first day of rain. In this part of the world, rain does not come for several months, then the rain begins. It only lasts a few days but it marks the beginning of the cool weather and Fall, if you can call it that. It rained for most of the morning here and it is now cloudy and overcast. Sometime this week, we can expect cooler weather that leads quickly into winter weather. Since we are in a hot climate for most of the year, this is considered a welcome relief and many people are sitting outside and enjoying the coolness. The homes here are concrete and steel, with high ceilings to ward off the hot temperatures, thus there is no need for central heating but instead they use heating units that plug into the electricity. We haven't gotten to this stage yet, but windows are open and air is filtering through the house. We can hear kids playing outside, racing and yelling, riding bikes and playing games that kids play outside. This is not usually the case, the weather prevents kids from going outside too much and thus, it’s nice to hear children playing for a change outside.

It is obvious that we will not be permitted any visits during the Eid, a time when all Muslims should be most generous since this is the time for Hajj. In Islam, one of the five pillars of religious duty is for all Muslims to go on a pilgrimage to Mecca for Hajj. This is meant as a renewal of religious devotion and closeness to God, their way of, no matter how wealthy or poor, to clothe themselves in white cotton and pray in Mecca at the Grand Mosque, and walk around the Kaaba. There are an estimated 3 million people in Mecca right now, all performing this once in a lifetime obligation in Islam. It would certainly be a good time to show some compassion to a mother and let her see her children, but no such offer has come. We can only hope that our children are having a good day, not missing us or feeling sad today. My granddaughter, we have heard, has days that she is "sad" but we hope that today is not one of them.

Nothing new has come from Boston, still waiting. Nothing new has come from the Saudi courts, but we didn't expect anything until after the Eid holidays. Until then, we are in the holding pattern of getting up, answering emails and phone calls, mindlessly watching TV for some form of distraction, and going to bed with an empty heart. We pray that this will all come to an end soon and they will realize that they are not immune to the justice system throughout the world. Their money and influence cannot sustain this type of criminal behavior. If no fear from criminal repercussions, then maybe they should fear God. His hand guides their destiny and although we may not be able to clearly see the path he has chosen for us right now, the path is there.

"Time is the justice that examines all offenders." William Shakespeare

We are well, we wait.

Sandra

Nov 5, 2011

2011-11-04T15:24:00.001-04:00

Today was a day of more silence. We are on the move again, 3 countries in 2 days. I am taking some time, its Eid holiday here and things are closed during the Eid thus a good time to catch up with my other grand babies, the twins and my grandson in Kuwait. It was nice holding babies and rocking them, seeing them starting to smile and interact with us is a joy. It is hard to imagine that not so long ago I was doing the same thing with my grand children in Saudi and they were so innocent and protected. Now, I don't see these children and they are no longer those sweet babies that knew nothing but love and comfort. As I bath the babies tonight, I remember doing the same thing with my other grandchildren and how they loved to kick and play in the warm bath water. They looked at me with such admiration and complete goodness just as these babies do. It’s hard to imagine at that time that they would ever be taken from us. That they would not have that complete trust again and someone would ruin their security and faith in their mother and father to always be there for them and do the right thing for them. I treasure each moment I am allowed to pamper these babies as I have tonight, it’s a bittersweet moment. But for this short while, I am blessed to be able to share the same love and affection I had with my other grandchildren.

It occurs to me that my grandchildren in Saudi have not seen their new cousins, and we are not sure if they ever see them. Their cousin, who is the same age as the twins taken, asks about them. He thinks they are away visiting their father in Saudi, he doesn't realize that they may not be able to see him soon, but he does realize that something is wrong. It’s been too long since he has seen them and they were very close. He talks as if they were here just yesterday, saying things like I am saving this picture for my cousin when he comes, or tell them to come back soon, I want to play with them. Why can't they come now, Grandma? He even said to me, I don't think their Daddy is a nice man, he won't let me play with them anymore. I asked him why he thought that, and all he would say is that they have been gone too long. Why? What can I say to a 4 year old about that? What would make sense in his little world? So we make excuses and he keeps putting toys and pictures he has made for them up in order to give these things to them later.

As we are everyday, waiting is our only option now. We have not heard anything from our judge in the States and we have not heard anything from the Saudi courts. We wonder what the kids are doing for the Eid in Saudi? Are they allowed to visit their cousins in Saudi Arabia for the Eid? We use to celebrate holidays as a family and they must wonder why, now, they are not allowed to see any of their aunts or uncles, any of their grandparents on our side, or an aging great grandmother that sits by the phone and waits for any word from them. We use to divide our time between both families, making sure that they were a vital part of both families, now they only have one family. Someone has decided to make one family more important than the other, eliminating the other completely. Who suffers from this? The kids. The kids in our family, our grandchildren that are visibly missing around the table when we eat or not there to share this day with their cousins. We don't celebrate anymore. We don't go and visit family anymore, too difficult to answer questions about why no word or where are they or how are they. We don't buy Eid clothes or pass out Eid gifts as before, we simply sit together in silence. We make an effort to be together, but that is all we can manage to do. Silence has become our communication, things not said, things not asked are easier to deal with than actually talking about it.

So today was another day of silence, a day that should be one of reunion and family celebration, is now just another day.

We will never be able to enjoy anything that we use to until they are back with us. The hole is too big to fill, too sad to talk about and too long of a wait to find respite in our reunion. I know they are out there today celebrating Eid with new people, with new faces, and wondering where are the old ones?

Until they are returned, we will wait, but we will never give up the fight.

We are well,

Sandra

Nov 2, 2011

2011-11-02T08:13:00.001-04:00

I didn't blog yesterday, it was too difficult for me. After hearing that my ex-son-in-law was removed from the Black List, no consequences, no penalties or even a finger shaken in disgust, it felt like all our efforts for the past months (especially those in Saudi Arabia) were null and void. In a single moment, all of it was swept away by corruption. And although I know we are far from done, we won't give up that easily, the fight rages on, it was a hard day of coming to terms and gearing up for our next move. It was overwhelming at times, but at other times it was surprisingly uplifting, if one can have both at the same time?

It was a mere set back, and in the final analysis we are still strong, it will just take more time. And that is the bitter pill that we must swallow, waiting...continually waiting for the dominoes to fall. But when they do, and they will, it will have been worth the wait. So, we woke this morning energized and ready to move forward.

"Saudi Arabia is not a signatory of the Hague Abduction Convention nor are there any international or bilateral treaties in force between Saudi Arabia and the United States dealing with international parental child abduction." That is their sovereign right, to refuse to be a part of any international agreement with the rest of the world.

What I find interesting about this, is their dependency upon other countries for everything else. The United States provides military support and even has bases in Saudi Arabia. They have two American Embassies as well. They are meeting with the Saudi's in a joint effort to create commerce and entrepreneurship between our two countries, Laura Bush visited recently, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton visits from time to time, actually giving speeches on international relations and future goals. Their main business of oil, Saudi Aramco with offices in Texas, has deep ties to its father company, Chevron Oil and indeed, several Americans sit on their Board of Directors. Every franchise known in the United States is represented in Saudi Arabia, it is not a backward country when it comes to consumer goods!

And where do you think their wealthy businessmen make their money? With the United States and the Western Europe, yes there are some economic windfalls in the Middle East as well, but even those are supported by US and European interests.

Knowing all this, the question comes to mind, why can't we influence simple human rights laws that can be honored jointly as well? We respect their Sharia Laws and have no interest in changing their system of rule or economic gains, but given our tremendous influence in their political arena and economic stability, we should be able to negotiate a mutual respect for international parental rights. One does not need to be tied with the other, human rights violations are an offense to everyone, not just citizens of the west. Kuwait, Bahrain, Dubai, Lebanon, and other Middle Eastern countries value this concept and have these laws and have signed Hague agreements. It has not hindered their growth or progress, it has actually enhanced it because business likes stability and consistency in a country in order to invest.

I don't want to rant on the economic gains we in the west have made from this country, mainly oil, that's life, that's business and given the current state our economy is in the US, we can use all the help we can get. What I do find offensive is our lack of mutual respect and ability to enforce international agreements and laws that protect our children, on both continents. My son-in-law is enjoying his legal rights, as provided to him in the United States, he has a lawyer and is fighting us daily in an American court. He has just made a 60 million dollar deal with one of the most powerful men in the United States, and has over 200 business partnerships in the United States. But when it comes to parental law, they chose to stay in Saudi Arabia and ignore American law and justice. Think about this, why do they have the right to make that decision? They can use the United States, reap all its benefits yet chose to ignore those laws they do not want to obey. The irony and injustice of this is not lost on anyone who can see the big picture.

Having said all this, we have been given some assistance by some wonderful US congressmen and senators. They are monitoring the situation. I don't want to disregard any help we are given, but in the big picture, something has to change in this new era of international exchange. We can be in any country now within a 6 hour flight, we can no longer take the stance of isolationism as a country, nor can they. Children's rights are non-negotiable, no one has the right to keep children as property in Saudi Arabia or anywhere else in the world.

There, I have said it. I have expressed my opinion on the topic and as an American, I have the right to do that. We are well. We will keep fighting.

Sandra

Oct 31, 2011

2011-10-31T16:42:00.002-04:00

Another day of waiting. No word from anyone today, waiting for some word from Boston or Saudi. We stayed close to home today, going out only to get food. We try to keep our thoughts off of the children, it only makes us more apprehensive. We can only assume what they are doing or what they may be thinking. We move in and out of conversations about this all day, as we usually do, but in the end we only have our imagination to guide us. We know that the children have grown from our sources, they are going to school each day now and other than that, nothing. My oldest granddaughter is forced to wear a long maxi dress for school, which seems odd for a child of 6 to be covered like this but that is the Saudi requirements for school. The twins are still together at school, we are told, as boys are separated next year in year one. Until then, they get to stay together. That gives us some comfort.

I don't have anything new to report, and that is more torture than knowing. If we could get some news we may be able to rally and work on a new direction, but for now everything is on hold until courts get back to us. We did hear that my ex-son-in-law is willing to give back my daughters personal clothing, yes he took everything. But he has been saying that for over 5 months now. Why would he want to keep her personal clothing, especially her winter clothes since winter is coming and it will soon be cold and she needs her coats and shoes, is beyond me. He took all the furniture, all the cars, all the money, all the jewelry, all dishes and household items from 2 homes, and her personal clothing. Taking the children was not enough for him. What makes a man like this tick? I don't know. Fear of his father's wrath, trying to win his love and approval, trying to find a way to make that old man happy? Most likely. His father told him to bring the children to him, and this is what he did. He actually said in an email, I fear what my father is capable of doing. He wants the kids and he can make my life hard...so he decided to give the old man what he wanted.

But, it is not our job to understand the workings of an insane man or his bullying father and family. It is our job to get our children back and that is what we stay focused on. There is a story about a child leaving Heaven to be born on Earth. She asked God, who will guide me and help me when I go there? God answered, I will send an angel to do this. Who will teach me what I need to know? Who will protect me and give me love? God said I will send an angel to do this. At the last minute, she looked back at God and said, How will I know this angel when I get there? God answered, the angel's name will be Mother and you will know her, as she knows you.

We are well.

Sandra

Oct 30, 2011

2011-10-30T14:49:00.002-04:00

Today was one of frustration and disappointment. We found out today that my ex-son-in-law was removed from the Black List over a week ago. He and his father have managed to persuade people in key positions with either their money or influence, not sure which, to not only have him removed from the Black List but make a call to the judge that sits over our case. We're not sure what was said, but it must have been something very intimidating because now he is very careful about assisting us with any court order or police enforcement. The police chief lifted the Black List under great pressure from these same "influential" people. Basically, this boils down to corruption on the highest level.

For those honest people working with us, this is a big blow, as well as for us. The few men who have been our allies are outraged and disappointed as well, but their hands are tied. They are not about to break the law, even if they know it is being manipulated and used in a corrupt manner. This whole thing stinks, for everyone. What is not mentioned by any of the corrupt participants in this case who have decided to get "involved" are the children. It’s as if we are waging a corporate battle over land or property, it just sits there while we fight it out in court. They do not see that small children are involved and are being hurt by all of this, they don't care. They don't care if we must wait months to see the children or that a mother cannot even speak to her children, it does not compute in the scheme of money and corruption. Winning is all that matters to them, at any price.

The most unreasonable thing is that we are forced to appeal the court decision in order to have our rights entered into the final decree. Without this final decree with our visitation rights in it, we have no rights under the law. Sharia law does not support such a decision, excluding a mother from her children's lives, but money and corruption talks. We must still submit this appeal in the hopes of being heard. However, the appeals judge, according to outsiders, is already in their pocket and will rule in their favor. We know this, we have been told this, and everyone is expecting this. So, where is the justice? After the appeals court makes their recommendations, it will go back to the original judge in our case and he will make the ultimate ruling, putting everything in the custody order. We put our hopes into the fact that he once gave us visitations, he may again. We don't know. Until then, our children will be locked down even longer.

On a side note, the family is so distraught about all that is going on that they will all be traveling to Paris next week for a nice long week of vacation. They have been buying clothes and preparing for this trip, excited about festivities. Are our children going? No. They will remain in Saudi on lock down with the nannies. This demonstrates their level of commitment and love for these children; not changing anything in their lives to accommodate their needs. Paris is waiting, children? What children.

This pulls at our hearts, but we are helpless to prevent anything or change the direction this is going for now. But, even with corruption and money pouring in, they will not be able to escape their criminal activities for ever. God is the ultimate judge. One day when this is over, I will be able to tell all that I have seen and heard and this will make any soap opera look like a cartoon movie.

We are staying strong. We are not giving up; we will just have to fight that much harder. And we will go to the top if we have to. Until then, we are well.

Sandra

Oct 29, 2011

2011-10-29T16:03:00.000-04:00

Today was another day of meeting with people and crossing bridges. We did hear from our contact some news from the children. Our oldest grandchild, age 6, asked if it was true what her therapist told her. As it turns out, they have asked their cousin, an American-Saudi woman who graduated from Boston in special education, to come and have discussions with my granddaughter about why she is so sad. She told my granddaughter that it was only fair that she live with her father now since she had been living with her mother for so many years and now it was her father's turn. She was asking other people in the house if this was true, that she shouldn't think of her "momma" anymore because it was "Baba's turn" to have them? This was the advice a so-called therapist, not qualified to teach much less practice in the States, told this little girl. In addition, she told her that she "shouldn't cry, this would make Momma sad and she didn't want to make Momma sad did she?" She replied to our contact, "I know I shouldn't cry, it would make Momma sad, but I just can't help it. I am sad and I miss her. Do you think she will know if I cry?" What 6 year old little girl says such things, and what adult woman, pretending to be a therapist tells her it is not okay to cry and miss her Momma. More head games, more manipulation to keep my granddaughter in line. How truly sad, how truly evil is this?

In addition, we also heard that both the twins were grounded for a week because they didn't participate in PE. Remember, they are 5 years old, this is Kindergarten and one of the twins has CP and cannot participate in PE. She is told to "sit out" PE, but out of support for his sister and not wanting to leave her alone during PE, he refused to play PE either. As a result, they were grounded by their Aunt, not their father as he does not do the parenting now but his sister does, and not only were they grounded but they had their I Pad's removed. This punishment went on for 3 days, with my grandson crying and begging for it back, he was told that if he agreed to participate in PE he could be off grounding and have his I Pad back. He finally agreed and thus was removed from grounding. In what universe does it seem appropriate for this type of punishment for two little Kindergarteners, especially when it is only PE? But, we are helpless to do anything about this.

We also heard that when my granddaughter, who has CP and struggles with potty control as a result, is punished when she wets herself by being forced to stay in her wet and pee-soaked clothes for hours. It has become such a big deal in the house that the nannies co-conspire to hide this fact from their father or other family members and quietly change her before they can find out. She actually asks to be changed so that they will not find out. Where is their compassion for this child? Where is their medical care for her? Where is her specialized doctor or physical therapist specializing in CP that she had in Boston? Gone. Instead she has a father who has not altered her braces since taking them six months ago, checked (as we regularly did with their medical team in Boston) to see if her braces are getting too small or need letting out for growth. Gone is any one individual who understands the full implications of CP as it pertains to this child's physical needs. This is what The Hague defines as child abuse. The mind games, the lack of medical care, the fact they are forced to live in locked-down conditions, the fact that they are being told not to cry, not to miss their mother and it’s only fair that they must live with their father now (from a mental support person who knows better), is child abuse!

Yes, today I am outraged. Today I am furious that a person, who claims to love his children so much that he took them from their mother in order to keep them for himself, can be so heartless. We know that their physical needs are being met, but their emotional and psychological needs are another thing. These emotional and psychological traumas are viewed as simply part of the fall-out of being taken. As he told us on the day he took them, "mother's die all the time, kids get over it." Now, we know what he meant by that...their mother was supposed to vanish and slip away in obscurity. But we did not.

We are fighting back and fighting back in their own back yard! This is what they did not anticipate, and this is what we will never stop doing until they are back with us.

If this blog today was more cynical than others, it does not mean that we are giving up, losing hope or optimism. It only motivates us on to more drastic measures. It didn't need to be like this, but they leave us no choice, and from the information that we have received, it is a battle well worth fighting for.

We are well.

Sandra

Oct 28, 2011

2011-10-28T14:55:00.000-04:00

The last couple of days have been very busy and heated. We have been on the move for the last two days, moving from one country to another for meetings. Although I unable to discuss the details of these meetings, it’s important to understand that as any parent would do who is desperate to see their children, we have entered into situations that were very unpleasant for both of us. We had a particularly difficult time yesterday evening, locked down behind iron gates in an attempt to see the children. We agreed to go into a compound that was locked down with armed guards outside, and other guards inside. Again I can't discuss the events directly, but when it was time to leave, we found ourselves unable to leave. Our driver, in Saudi women must have a driver to get around, and our guardian was not allowed to accompany us, was suppose to come for us at a designated time. When that time came, we found ourselves abandoned in this compound with no way out. Our driver was turned away at the gate and not allowed to enter to get us. As women alone, we could not walk out. This saga went on for a couple of hours while we fought with the security guards to release our driver for us and allow us to leave. Eventually, we contacted the driver directly and told him to come back to the compound and sit in front of the gates, pay no attention to whatever the guards say or do and call us when he was outside. Fortunately for us, our driver, a sweet Indian man, drove up and as directed, refused to leave until we were safely in his car. Once he called, we walked out to the car and got in. The guards tried to stop us, but my daughter held her own and demanded their names and badges to report them to the police. Once they saw we were not backing down, we walked without interference to the car and drove off. It was an upsetting event.

What this demonstrated to us, as if we didn't already know this, was that we can't deal with these people. They have no intention of doing anything honorable or trustworthy. We realize now that we must continue on our path in the courts, police and multiple countries to pursue our rights. They will never allow any peaceful means to end this tragedy. It could all be so simple, so civilized, but that is not their way. Shortly after the lock down and we tried, unsuccessfully, to contact my ex-son-in-law to order our release, but he refused to answer his phone. But we discovered that he crossed the bridge into Bahrain that night for a nice dinner and drinks with friends. He showed no concern whatsoever, and of course he didn't personally get involved but had his "men" do the dirty work. Such a powerful man yielding his power over two helpless women, how noble.

However, we are home now and resting. We will start again tomorrow early. We are well and our determination never falters. The pressure is turned up and they in the kettle, it won't be long before they will feel the heat.

Until then, we will continue fighting for our kids.

Sandra

Oct 25, 2011

2011-10-25T17:53:00.000-04:00

Tonight is a quiet night, but not one without anxiety. We are preparing for bed knowing that we didn't hear anything from the children, or their abductors, tonight. We were hoping for some news from lawyers or police, but it’s quiet. We know these things take time but time is being spent as if 3 children's lives are not involved. They don't have the concept of time, waiting, or court proceedings. They just know that another day goes by without hearing from their mother. We hope and pray that one day we will be able to undo the damage that is being done. They are great kids and I know they won't lose what we taught them in a day or week or months. But, the longer this drags out the less they understand why this is happening. They don't know the days of sleeplessness we have had, the hours of paperwork, the appointments with people that take us all day or the endless meetings with police. They only know that they haven't heard from their mommy and don't know why.

So, as we prepare for bed we are crowded with these thoughts and we try to push them to the back of our minds in order to find some peace of mind, even if for a few hours.

My daughter was riding in the car with me the other day and she began talking, saying, "Oh, I like that." "Haha, that's funny." My son and I looked at her and wondered what she was talking about. Then we realized that she wasn't talking to us, but to herself. When we asked her what she was saying, she realized that she had talked out loud. She told us that she was having an imaginary conversation with the kids and thought she was doing it in her head. We sat for a few seconds for that to sink in, then we all laughed a nervous laugh. We knew that the stress was taking its toll, and she had spoken out loud a conversation that was being played out in her head. But, fortunately for us, she has a great sense of humor and laughed at her own mistake, making jokes about it.

It has come to that for us, and it is in these quiet hours before bed when the television is no longer entertaining or conversation has been exhausted that we find ourselves alone with our thoughts.

These are the hard times.

But, there is tomorrow. As I have said many times, we are not giving up and we will get up tomorrow and prepare a full day's work. The pressure is on and the cracks are beginning to show. They are not an island in the middle of turmoil, but deeply entrenched in it with us. They have no place to run.

Still no word from the kids, no calls, no visits, but we are hopeful that will change as we make each day more and more challenging for them.

We are well,

Sandra

Oct 24, 2011

2011-10-24T16:50:00.002-04:00

This was a difficult day for all. We miss the children so much but have no way of communicating with them. We would love to have a call, just a short call that would allow us to express how much we love them or miss them, let them know we are still out there fighting for them. But, as it is, their stability is not a priority with my son-in-law, he does not care if they have a moment with their mother or grandmother to help them cope with all that they must endure. We just heard that the entire family is traveling for the Eid vacation, a wonderful family vacation away to a European country, meeting up with their other sons who are living in the United States. That is everyone but the children and their father. Instead, they will be left behind to sit at home alone. Somewhere in their distorted mindset, they believe it is better to leave small children stranded in a dusty, hot, country with no outside contact. What a wonderful childhood they are being offered. Basically, they are their possessions, like the Phantom their grandfather drives, or an expensive piece of jewelry their Grandmother owns or a fine Swiss watch that their father owns. They take such intricate care of these possessions, careful to keep them as protected as they can in order to preserve their value over time, sealed away in vaults or enclosed in specially constructed garages. Our children are treated as such, locked away behind high walls, protected by servants and cared for as nurse would care for a patient. At no time are their emotional needs given such delicate care and love.

I know I am being hard on myself today, but there are those days when the waiting is overwhelming, the need to hold them or see them simply unbearable. I saw a little girl yesterday in the grocery store with the same long curls as my granddaughter and I found myself following her from isle to isle, just watching her. I kept imaging how my granddaughter used to run along the cart and ask for things, we would agree on one thing and she would have such a difficult time with choosing that one thing. I remember back and think how I would love to give her anything she wanted, just to see her smile and jump up and down with anticipation of something so simple as which cereal to chose or which ice cream to pick. It was so difficult for me to tear myself away from this little girl, I wanted to run up to her parents and tell them to give her what she wanted and appreciate each and every moment they are with her. I watched and saw loving parents, talking to her about good eating and agreeing to give her a snack of her choice if she was a good girl. I smiled and stopped following them, I felt, in a strange way that they were doing a good job and that made me feel better. That's all it takes, a small gesture, a small interaction to make me feel better. so why the cruelty of denying that? I don't know. I don't claim to understand such things. I guess I never will. And I thank God I don't.

Until we see the kids again, we are well. We are fighting on and we will never give up.

Sandra

Oct 23, 2011

2011-10-23T18:41:00.000-04:00

Today was a good dose of reality for us. We got our hopes up yesterday that something could be worked out, but it was more games and self-interest that was the driving force behind any so-called good will. It was, as we expected, more smoke and mirrors. We have learned not to get too high or too low after all that we have been through, and fortunately for us we kept our feet on the ground and didn't get our expectations too high. It is heartbreaking that we are not going to see the children, they are still locked down and apparently they will stay that for a while.

But, nothing lasts forever, and their games will come to an end. We are not given even a short phone call or any news about their well being in any way. They seem to think they can use the children as a bargaining tool, but we have learned that negotiating with these types of people is useless. He is still on the Black List and evidently, he doesn't like it much.

We have been working all day to get our message out to the right people; it was exhausting but worthwhile. Members of his family are traveling in London and the United States, enjoying their freedom while they have our children tucked away from society and their mother. It must be wearing thin for them, how many times can a toy substitute for their mother or a play date with a relative substitute for true interaction with love ones? I would be willing to bet it is not so easy to keep them occupied lately, they know the reason they are there and they know their mother is fighting for them. They wait, just as we do for a reunion. Although we thought maybe yesterday that we might be able to have a single day, a single hour or even a single moment with them, but realized today that this will not happen. Abducting children may be an easy task in the beginning, but raising them and keeping them happy is a whole different set of life skills.

For now, we fight on. This minor setback has only fueled our determination to do whatever we have to do to see them again. We are closing in on 6 months without our children. Birthdays have come and gone, parties have been missed, first day of school has been missed and the birth of their new cousins has been missed. But we will make this up to them.

Until then, we are well. We will keep fighting and we will win.

Sandra

Oct 22, 2011

2011-10-22T16:21:00.000-04:00

Today was a weird day, yet a cautiously optimistic day. My son-in-law began opening communications with us on visitation and appears to be willing to discuss some form of visitation with the children. We have not gotten anything worked out yet in writing, but at least he is discussing it. He wants to clear himself with the police and is willing to negotiate something that might assist him in doing that. This is a step forward to at least acknowledge that we have some rights to see these children. The restrictions are steep but at least there are discussions, as we have never had this before. He appears to understand that we are not going away and we will continue to put more pressure on him, thus he is trying to find some way to allow us some visitation that will give us some time with the children.

We are optimistic because we know that no matter what the time restraints or demands, the children will benefit from being with us for any amount of time and we can start to reconnect with them. I know this is not the ultimate goal, but it is more than we have now. The question remains, can we hang onto it? Will he stand good for his promises and not disappoint us or the children again. We don't want to see them hurt again and to start visits only to abruptly stop would do more harm than good. So, let's pray that he sees fit to do the right thing and actually offers us something concrete that we can hold onto.

The days are getting cooler here, not cool or by any stretch cold, but pleasant. We are able to have the windows open and feel a breeze at night. This reminds us of fall in the States and we think about how the children in the States are getting ready for Halloween, buying costumes and carving pumpkins. We dare not hope to be able to do that with the children if talks go well. Just to sit with them and carve a pumpkin seems so heavenly right now. We don't allow ourselves to go there in our thoughts, its too painful. We hold onto to memories of those times, however. We remember going trick-or-treating in Boston, the children dressed up in costumes, the streets closed off, and all the parents and kids walking around going door to door collecting candy. It was a cold day and the kids had to wear coats over their costumes, which they hated, but as soon as their little hands and feet got cold, they had their coats on. We went to the pumpkin patch and picked pumpkins and carved them. We went to the apple orchard and picked apples and made apple pies together. We had such a wonderful time.

Now, we hope and pray for the chance to carve a pumpkin with them, if given the chance. And if given the chance, I will search high and low for a pumpkin in Saudi Arabia, pay whatever they ask, and carry it with me until I can give it to the kids. Let's just keep positive and hope that we can build new memories.

Until then, we are well. We are still fighting and nothing will stop that. But, we have hope now that was not there yesterday. We will see.

Sandra

Oct 21, 2011

2011-10-21T14:37:00.002-04:00

We are changing locations again.

But that takes a back seat to the news about Gaddafi's death, and they indeed found him in a rabbit hole. How prophetic that I should have written in my blog yesterday that bad men can to an end that requires them being pulled from a hole in the ground.

My son said something to me a few months ago about the mind set of such men. What makes men, he said, want to plunge head on into certain disaster? At what point does a man like this stop listening to all his advisers, to the united people's voices and not see the danger signs all around him? Gaddafi could have taken the money and fled, lived on an island the rest of his life, or be taken in by some third world country and lived like a King. He would not have his "beloved" country anymore but he would be alive and with his family. At what point did he decide that it would be better to ride the ship down, even if it meant death? Somewhere in his genetic DNA or his self sense of importance, this man felt he could not lose. He would overcome insurmountable obstacles and win the day. This is a lesson in humility that men like this do not heed. I can't help but draw parallels to another man in a similar position. As my mother always says, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans."

Security is beefed up all around us. The mere idea that another country is free, rid of its Dictator, seems to intimidate those in other countries. I find the check points that I must go through each day so common place that I can't imagine what it was like not to have them. Traffic is diverted to less traveled roads, armed police and military are perched at each intersection, and helicopters fly above our heads all day and night. In spite of this, the mall is a buzzing and filled to capacity. It’s amazing how easily we adapt to change in our environment, even forgetting it’s there at times. I enjoy having such heavily guarded streets near where I live, however, because they will not let anyone in who does not belong here and that is reassuring in our case. We are locked down in a compound, guarded by two check points before entering and we must provide ID. It’s a necessary part of our lives now, not to be taken lightly.

We still have no word from the children, no phone calls, no visitations and no enforcement for violated court orders. He is still on the Black List but it has been two weeks since that went into effect, we are hoping to hear more dramatic sanctions added to this. But it will require the strong perseverance of a just and noble man, our judge, to stay true to his ruling and see this thing through. He must overcome higher authorities' pressure and influence to get this done, but we have faith in his determination to do the right thing. We will not rest until this is done. We keep applying the pressure from our side and work within the boundaries set for us, and have faith that God will open the doors to those who can make things happen.

We are well.

Sandra

Oct 20, 2011

2011-10-20T12:25:00.000-04:00

Today is a day of refection. What are we fighting for? Who are we trying to save? A rock can be beat by the flow of a river over time, mighty strength in water, making it smooth and round, taking the rough edges off. But, no matter how much water we pour, how fierce it flows, the rock is still sharp and hard. Why? Can a human being who claims to be merely a loving parent, be so merciless with all those around him? Does one cancel out the other? People's actions are a ying and yang, they know their actions create a reaction. Thus, what is the reaction when one takes small children from their loving family and denies them any contact with the one who nurtured them, who nursed them, who sat by their beds when sick, who stood over their cradles to make sure they were fine? Surely one would expect nothing less than a strong reaction to say the least..

We are waiting for that reaction, but none comes. They walk around with complete confidence and arrogance, stiffened by their resolve to never allow the children from their sight in the name of being a good parent. What type of love is this? What type of man does these things? If history is any indication, we know what type of men do this. Men who are ruthless and selfish, men who conquer other people in the name of being superior. But, look what history shows us, these men are no longer with us and they died a cruel, hideous death after being found in a rabbit hole.

Who are we saving? We are trying to save those children from becoming like them. We don't want one dysfunctional generation to influence another dysfunctional generation of clones. We want to teach them that love doesn't have to hurt. That peace is not something you can buy, but something one can only get by peaceful. That showing mercy and gratitude for all God's gifts is not done only when others are there as an audience to applaud the effort. We want to save them from being immune to the suffering in the world and knowing their ability to make changes for the better. Life is not a constant tally sheet of amassed wealth, but one that has riches earned in good deeds. Is this too much to ask? We don't want to become like them, lose our compassion and ability to love unconditionally. By saving the children, we are saving ourselves. We are sinking deeper and deeper into a dark hole, and at times find ourselves questioning the humanity of others. Fortunately for me, I have been surrounded by good people, people who never dwindle away out of boredom, or give up out of despair, or find the long road to recovering our children one too rocky and marred with pit falls. It’s not easy to keep optimistic at these times, but we are reminded that what's important is the future, not a few months or weeks or days in the scheme of life. And it is this that keeps us going.

Today is a day of reflection, more waiting, more reasons why something can't be done, more corruption, more backroom deals and players than anyone can count. But it is also a day we take stock in our family and friends that never let us down. We love you all.

We are well.

Sandra

Oct 18, 2011

2011-10-18T19:52:00.000-04:00

Had to cross the bridge yesterday to get some work done at my school, it couldn't be avoided any longer. It was good for me to walk back into a world that I once had so much in common with, but it was bittersweet. It was nice seeing friendly faces, warm greetings and genuine concern from so many people. It was as if I had been gone for years, yet it seemed like just yesterday that I was here worried about lesson plans or what paint to set out that day for an art project. I felt like I had gone back to a family, not co-workers. They were so kind and loving, sensing that I didn't want to talk about things, they kept the conversation light. I appreciated that. Thank you everyone for being so gentle with me, allowing me to slowly fade in and fade out, offering me their chair, making me coffee, just being there without saying anything. It was a nice distraction from the numbness and hurt.

But, that didn't make it easier to be there, back in the place where my grandchildren played, lived, laughed and danced around the rooms. I have to drive past their old house to get to work, and I look up to see the monster of a home glaring at me, black, no lights, dim and dusty. The curtains are drawn, the yard strangely still, as if waiting too for someone to return. I stopped my car in front of the house and looked toward the door. I half expected to see the kids running out and down the steps as they always did when they saw me coming. They always ran up to the car and I could hear them yelling, "Grandma, Grandma" before I even parked the car. But today, no such welcome. Instead, this old, stone and marble castle was a grim reminder of their abduction. It was here that we fell on the floor, withering in agony, when they were first taken. It was here that we all slept in one room, curled around each other, not wanting to leave this one room because everywhere we looked, we saw their pictures, their clothes, their toys, their beds. It was here, too, that we fled in the night with only our clothes and went into hiding from a man who was too much of a coward to do his own dirty work. I am tempted to cry, but then, no. Crying only gives them what they want. I turn my car back toward the road and drive on knowing that God was watching then as he is now, and he has a plan. That comforts me.

The wicked plots against the just and gnashes his teeth at him, but the Lord laughs at the wicked for he sees his day is coming.

As I drive to a place not called home, I know that I will see those babies again. I know that "the wicked plots against the just, and gnashes upon him with his teeth, I know the Lord shall laugh at him for the Lord seeth that his day is coming."

Still no visits, no phone calls, no word from the children. We don't know where they are at, and we don't know when we will see them again, but we will see them again. You can't break the bond 3 small children have with their mother, no matter how far you take them, they will know her, and she will know them. We will wait for our turn.

We are well,

Sandra

Oct 17, 2011

2011-10-17T14:09:00.000-04:00

Another day of waiting; waiting to talk to the judge, waiting to hear from our lawyers, waiting to hear news from our judge in Boston about Jurisdiction, waiting for people to return from vacation who can help us, waiting for a return reply from important people, waiting, waiting, waiting. We have no choice at this point. We have hit hard, won the day and now we wait to see who or when it will begin to unravel for those holding our children. We know they are nervous, they are screaming and pounding tables too much for confident people. But, they are waiting too and that makes this easier to deal with. They are not getting the answers they want and they don't like it. This doesn't get us any closer to getting the kids, seeing the kids, talking to the kids, or does it? Perhaps they may go too far and upset people who can actually make their life difficult. This is not too far away at the rate they are going.

As for us, we are making our calls, writing our papers, and playing the waiting game. In the mean time, we struggle with the small things. We struggle to keep positive and maintain momentum, pushing forward, leaving no rock unturned. We struggle with silence. Silence is our enemy. When we are too busy to think, we can stay on top of our pain and get through the day, but when we are waiting for any word, we are alone with our thoughts. We try to make small talk to one another but it always circles back to the topic of what else can we do, who can we call, who can we see, are we missing anything? It can completely consume one, and it is worse when it stops. We are like zombies, we talk and walk, eat and sleep, move throughout the day numb. The only time we are animated is when we receive some good news or some new possibility we hadn't thought of. Then we are alive again.

Until the children are returned to their mother, that is the best we can do for now. So, we wait today, hang out in our pajamas and eat ice cream. But this is just the lull before the storm and we are waiting for that as well. Someday, somehow, they will walk on the wrong people, ignore the wrong man, (or woman in this case) and they will be enlightened to the truth.

Ironically, Jimi Hendrix of all people said, "When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." So true, so true.

Today we are well, and we are moving forward.

Sandra

Oct 16, 2011

2011-10-16T14:26:00.000-04:00

Today was a rough day. Can't really say too much, but just know that corruption is afoot. Money can get to many people, people that are trusted to stand for justice and wisdom to make decisions that can ruin lives or make lives. Such power in the hands of the wrong people is a sin, a sin that can't be washed away by more money. We are relying on the strength of a few people to find it in their hearts to do the right thing in the face of great pressure. This is a time when men earn their wings, or fall from grace, which one will it be? We will see.

We are holding on, digging in even deeper, we won't be run off that easily. We will back on track tomorrow and fighting again for stiffer penalties for court violations. Being on the Black List is evidently not setting well with those on it. For many of us, the mere concept of a Black List is foreign to us. I have been asked what does a Black List mean? We are that out of touch with corruption and criminal activities that we are learning new terminology each day that we thought we would never need to know. But in some households, such as my ex-son-in-law's, being Black Listed is not an uncommon thing at all, as a matter of fact, he is not the only one in his family Black Listed. This is not something they talk about, this is not something that anyone knows, it simply gets hushed up and they go about their business as if everything is normal. But, it makes one wonder what common thread do they all share that would make this a common household occurrence? Only God knows. And he sees all. No amount of awards for charitable deeds or public appearances to support noble causes can change that. Only mortal men can be fooled.

I am not discouraged today, simply appalled. Nothing surprises me anymore and we have come to expect anything. And as such, we handled it with as much dignity as we could and moved on. Tomorrow will be a new day and new challenges, I know. But, each battle we fight is worth it. Still no word from the children, no idea where they are or what they are doing. But we can feel them, we know they are there and loving us and missing us. Simply removing our pictures from their lives will not stop that. They know we are out there fighting, and they know we will be together again. So, my friends and family, we are gathering in the eggs for a big storm, and taking shelter for the night. But tomorrow....tomorrow we will be back in their faces. We won't fade away that easily.

We are well.

Sandra

Oct 15, 2011

2011-10-15T23:29:00.000-04:00

Today was spent putting paperwork together for the Appeal coming up in early November. This is challenging to say the least when the "Custody Order" is written as a scroll, yes a scroll. This method dates back to ancient times, but is still used today in courts here. It is about one meter long and is written as a continual read, no stops. Fascinating, actually to see that they enter everything said by both parties, fact or not fact, proven or not proven, whatever was claimed in court is put in the final decree. I understand why the judge does this; it’s a way to justify his verdict. And what’s more interesting is my ability to see how other cultures work and what they take as legal documents. Courts work differently here than in other court rooms I have been in, and lately that has been a lot. Both parties get to sit facing the judge and start talking. The louder the voice, the more opportunity they have to be heard. Thus, it is not uncommon for several people to be talking and even shouting over each other and the judge sifts through the conversation. A little more laid back than I expected, but somehow it all gets heard. Anyway, for the next couple of weeks, working on preparing our Appeal until the Hearing.

It was another hot and sticky day here. The weather is cooling down at night, but during the day the heat is still overwhelming to me, while most of the people here feel it is a pleasant day. I guess it’s something one gets acclimated to with time, so I am still working on that. I am getting use to being covered and can walk rather casually through the market and streets without losing my head scarf or tripping over my abia. We have learned where to find the best American coffee in town, where NOT to eat, and where we can get a quick shave, for my son, or buy donuts at 6:00 in the morning. So, we are making it day by day and adjusting to the changes and finding out that nothing much is different than it is in the rest of the world. We just had to learn the ropes when it came to "family" sections in restaurants and prayer-time closing for stores and groceries. But we are doing it.

We are in a better mood today, as well. Still no word from the children, no phone calls or visits, but we are energized today and have a full week planned. The police are sending their court violation notices over to the court house again, and we will be there when it comes in. It’s just a matter of time before my ex-son-in-law will have to comply, he can't resist the entire legal system for too long, especially when we don't miss a day chasing the paperwork to make it happen.

We sit and stare out the window in the late afternoon and think about what other people are doing on their day off, and miss the ability to do something so simple as go on a picnic or sip coffee in a coffee shop without looking at our watches to see if we are late to an appointment or checking our phones constantly for another message or call. My daughter carries 3 phones with her at all times, one phone from Kuwait, one phone from Saudi, one phone from Bahrain, to make sure she is available to any of her legal team night or day. We all carry several phones that keep us in direct contact with our families in the States and Kuwait and other places around the world. So, between the 3 of us, we are always on a phone somewhere. But today was one for catching up, gearing up and rallying our strength for the long week ahead.

We are well. Miss everyone,

Sandra

Oct 14, 2011

2011-10-14T14:17:00.000-04:00

How can I begin to thank all of my wonderful friends and family for the special pictures that they have shared. It really touched us, especially me. I haven't seen these babies for 5 months. I try to hold onto the memories like rare jewels, but these are lost in a haze of heartbreaking emotion. I dare not look directly at pictures to avoid the pain they inflict with their beauty. But, now that you have posted photos, I was forced to have a real look at the smiles and happiness in the eyes of my family and know it can never be the same for us.

Now we wait, we hope, we pray, we sit in silent remorse over lost moments of time that can never be gotten back. Seeing those pictures today brought tears of joy to my eyes, remembering how it felt to have their arms around me and how much love was there, and still is. Thank you for touching a part of me that I have managed to push back and hide from, out of preservation and survival. I know the reality of the situation is that I may never see those kids again, they have made it very clear that I am not to be a part of any reunion or chance visit. They are making it very difficult for my daughter to see them, but are unbending on my interaction in any way. Why is this? I don't know. Perhaps they fear that I might be stronger than my daughter, I might fight back, I might refuse to let go once given the chance to hold them, that I can not be intimidated as she can. They fear my resolve to never back down from their bullying, and this is something they don't know how to deal with. They are strong and willful when it comes to a little girl who wants desperately to see her children and will endure all of their mind games and stipulations and hurtful words just for a chance to see their faces for one hour. Don't get me wrong, I would do anything to see them as well, but I won't kiss the ring of the oppressors nor will I pretend to be frightened of them. I know I am from strong stock, hard working people who forged their living from the soil, paid their taxes and did the right thing, Simple people, the core of American values and beliefs.

It is these values and beliefs that give me the inner strength to persevere and know that Kingdoms have fallen by the voice of one person. In Tunisia, one man set himself on fire and look what happened.

In the Middle East, change is coming and it is being brought into the public arena not by politicians or special forces, but by common people fighting injustice. Remember that a simple fruit vendor who was denied his fruit cart toppled governments and started a Spring of revolution that is still growing today. The power of one man's voice, one man's passion was just like the shot that was heard around the world in the United States for the American Revolution, it was powerful.

I know our little drama that plays out in an obscure country that many people can't locate on a map is not that powerful, but it is that passionate. It is easy to forget sometimes that this drama is played out daily in the lives of many people but rarely does it touch anyone outside the immediate circle of those involved. What is easy to forget is although not grand on the scale of international politics and intercontinental disputes that plague our nation and other nations today, it is monumental in the lives of 3 children. These lives are a microscopic symbol of our humanity and justice. There are people from all the countries involved in this that get this, see this for what it is and are willing to stand up and say this won't be tolerated. And there is power in the voice of many.

Thank you, my dear friends and family, for being that voice and standing with me. For all of you following my blog, your support is felt and greatly appreciated.

Sandra

Oct 13, 2011

2011-10-13T18:17:00.000-04:00

Today was filled with mixed emotions. It was a day of rest, compared to the last few weeks, but one filled with anger and frustration at being, yet again, denied any visits or communications with my grand children. We spent the day working on paperwork and sending it off to those in charge, as we do every day. We hope that our efforts will show some results this coming week and the judge will act upon the court violations that are now common practice.

We wonder when we see pictures of the kids on our computers or in our rooms, where they are tonight. We wonder if they are sleeping well, who is tucking them in or who cares if they wake up in the night with nightmares, which we have been told were nightly for my grand children. They are speaking more Filipino than Arabic now, since their basic human contact is with their nannies, not family members. While other family members are away in the Unites States of all places, Switzerland at spas, or chairing charities putting on a face of benevolence, who is with the children they abducted? We wonder who gets them up for school in the mornings, dresses them, feeds them, packs their lunches, and oversees their homework when their father does not crawl out of bed before 2:00 in the afternoon each day. His travels to and from nearby countries has not slowed down much less stopped, so he is carrying on business as usual. What we do know is that they are not allowed out of the house, not out to play or visit friends or have any external contact with the world other than those family members in the house. This is by definition, being held captive.

It eats at us daily, but we know if we bog ourselves down with these thoughts we can never achieve anything. So, when we are tempted to sit down and cry, we do, but we get right back up with even more determination than the day before. We know that the psychological damage being done to these children by denying any contact with their mother or other outsiders is harmful in itself, but what about internal affects of self-esteem, security, trust, bonding, and other deeply entrenched emotions that children with normal socialization gain. When deprived of these basic emotions, they can grow as they are fed, clothed, and housed, but emotionally they are starved. This creates the distrust for others, and as we have seen in the few quick glances we have been able to have, they cling together for reassurance. They are each other's security now, and they depend upon each other for nurturing and love and have formed a bond that encircles just the three of them, protecting themselves from more hurt.

This will come to an end one day, maybe not soon, but one day it will. We will keep fighting on until they are back.

Sandra

Oct 12, 2011

2011-10-12T18:11:00.000-04:00

We are on the move again. With a man who is ignoring the laws in his own country, we will error on the side of cautious.

We are tired and emotionally low today knowing there will again this week, be no weekend with the kids as ordered by the Saudi courts. The courts themselves are in dis-believe that this man and his entire family are pushing the boundaries, but the courts and police have a very specific protocol to follow, as we do in the States, for how this is to play out in terms of penalties and enforcement. It unfortunately, will take time.

The highs and lows do take their toll at times. Frustration gnaws at ones soul, knowing the damage that is being inflicted on 3 small innocent children. For what end? To say “We have spoken and you will never see your children” “We win” Why is it always the children who have to suffer? Why do child abusers never think of the damage inflicted?

Only questions today….no answers.

It is a complete family effort on their part.

Imagine - if you can - not having a conscience, none at all, no feelings of guilt or remorse no matter what you do, no limiting sense of concern of the well-being of strangers, friends, or even family members. Imagine no struggles with shame, not a single one in your whole life, no matter what kind of selfish, lazy, harmful, or immoral action you had taken. And pretend that the concept of responsibility is unknown to you, except as a burden others seem to accept without question, like gullible fools. Now add to this strange fantasy the ability to conceal from other people that your psychological makeup is radically different from theirs. Since everyone simply assumes that conscience is universal among human beings, hiding the fact that you are conscience-free is nearly effortless. You are not held back from any of your desires by guilt or shame, and you are never confronted by others for your cold-bloodedness. The ice water in your veins is so bizarre, so completely outside of their personal experience that they seldom even guess at your condition.

In other words, you are completely free of internal restraints, and your unhampered liberty to do just as you please, with no pangs of conscience, is conveniently invisible to the world. You can do anything at all, and still your strange advantage over the majority of people, who are kept in line by their consciences, will most likely remain undiscovered.

We will be back at it in couple of days. Meetings in court and with the police. All legwork to solidify our case to have the current court orders enforced legally as per Saudi law.

That’s all for tonight. As I said, more questions than answers. More worry about the well being of my grandchildren.

What are their young minds thinking about their world tonight?

Sandy

Oct 11, 2011

2011-10-11T14:26:00.001-04:00

I am very tired tonight, emotionally drained and my body aches from all the long hours waiting, standing, moving, phone calls and everything else that we do on a daily basis. My daughter and son are feeling the stress as well, but we are marching on.

Today, as we expected, a meeting took place in the police station and my ex-son-in-law informed the police that he has no intention of honoring the court order and does not recognize their authority to enforce it. He said this in front of the police chief and officers. After he said this, the police officer told my daughter and son that they can go home, there will be nothing more that can be done except what the police can do.

I don't know for sure what that means, we will have to wait and see. But, it is obvious that he will not be complying with the court order on Thursday, and another week will go by without seeing the kids. He went as far as to say, documented in the police office, that "I will never give her children." What more can anyone do? I don't know, but we will be trying to find more support from multiple places.

This has been a long journey to get the rights we have now, only to have him blatantly ignore them and mock the police and court. He is clearly not afraid of the police in Saudi nor his Black List status. As a prominent business man in Saudi, one would think that this would be a bad thing to have...this even affects business in the States if their company partners in the USA were to find out he is on the Black List. But, he seems to be above all that. Either he is the stupidest man alive or the most arrogant, and we must remember how things worked out for David and Goliath.

We are settling in for the night, another bowl of cereal and milk, and gaining our strength for more action on the part of the Saudi Police and the Courts. Wish us luck.

My prayers are with all of you and your own troubles, as I am sure your prayers are with me. We can feel the cloak of protection that God has given us.

Sandra

Oct 10, 2011

2011-10-10T13:26:00.000-04:00

Today was a good day for us. We managed to meet with the police and the courts in Saudi, and we were reassured that they stood firmly behind the court order for visitations. We were concerned when we found out that my daughter's ex-husband went to meet the police, and tried to meet with the judge, in order to be removed from the Black List. According to all the people we spoke to, he was unsuccessful. I guess being Black Listed is not a fun thing to be, and we have no intentions of making this comfortable for him. So, all in all, not a bad day. I must say, my son's performance in the court today was stellar and he attributes it to Bouyah and Hussouse.

The weather here is getting cooler, if high 80's is cooler, and we are actually able to walk around during the day without the sweat dripping down our backs. We walked for a bit tonight, covered of course, and then back home for some down time and prepare for tomorrow. Since we have made several strides in the direction of getting our rights lately, we feel more confident not to accept anything less than what we have been given in a court order by a judge. So, short of giving us that, anything else will be a waste of time.

We are working on maintaining some sense of stability ourselves. Being locked in, locked down, on the move, living out of suitcases, and eating whatever we can get our hands on, has its down side. We are slap-happy individuals, getting joy from the smallest things...bad service, poor English language usage, smelly courthouse seats, Indian cab drivers, nose-pickers at the red lights and KTV2 ( our only channel with anything in English!). We are thrilled when we can get National Geographic or CNN, we can tell you the entire life cycle of a West African Beetle!

We are hanging in there, we are winning! So, bring it on, we can endure the small stuff.

Sandra

Oct 9, 2011

2011-10-09T18:56:00.001-04:00

Today was another day for playing games. Although we have a court order for visitations, and my ex-son-in-law is on the Black List as a "wanted man" in his own country, he and his family are making absurd offers for visits. They are offering "a" visit in a villa that they own, locked down behind iron gates with armed guards posted outside, and guards posted around the villa. This so called visit is for only a couple hours, under strict supervision. They stipulate that no one from our family is to be there, no males or me in particular. We are to trust their good intentions with my daughter's life by allowing her to enter into this compound, followed by these guards, with no safety guarantees in place. We don't know who awaits her once inside the villa or who is waiting for her just inside the gates. We have orders to drop her at the front gate and she should walk inside alone. This offer is, for obvious reasons, unacceptable on so many levels. First, we have a court order that we are to be with the children for weekends, unsupervised and in our own residence, so why would we be willing to accept anything less. They know this, they know they are on the Black List, they know that police actions will only intensify as they continue to refuse, yet they do.

We are on the move again. We watch over our shoulder for anyone following us, anyone who may be bought off to spy on us or report our location. We go back to court and police each day, never allowing them to forget us or ignore us. This is the only action we can take now, since all the other dominoes in Saudi have fallen and they simply refuse to accept them. They are not in touch with reality. This could all be so simple. Both parents are needed to provide children with a balance of love and security, not one leaving the other behind. Human rights are part of every individuals right to exist, yet in this day and age we see others who are willing to take that away from another because they can. Children are not objects to be owned or claimed, they are human beings that do not understand the legal ramifications of being abducted, the long drawn-out process to get them back in court or win jurisdiction, they only know their momma is not here and want to know why.

Every time we want to give up or get tired, emotionally drained with the never ending stress of it all, my grand daughter's words ring in my ear, "You must be strong, Momma. You must keep fighting for me, Momma. Don't ever give up on me, Momma. We are waiting for you. So you need to be strong, and we will be strong together." Hearing that from the mouth of a six year old motivates us and inspires us never to forget why we are doing this. We will get our children back.

We are fine. We are dancing until we can't dance anymore. Then, as my comrades in the 42nd Royal Highlanders would say, we pick ourselves up and begin again!

Sandra

October, 8, 2011

2011-10-08T13:30:00.001-04:00

Today is a day of confusion and disbelief. My daughter's ex-husband is now officially Black Listed in his own country. He violated the court order and the police continued with action against him. However, he is still refusing to allow us to see the children or talk to the children. It appears that the court system is working, the law is working, but he does feel the need to comply with anything that is being done or said by those in high power. We have the full support and backing of the Prince in the region, the court judge and the police, and he still is standing his ground to ignore them all. How can he possibly continue to do this, without fear of reprisal? I don't know. Perhaps they don't take any of seriously. But, the facts are that he is a criminal who has broken the law in his own country and sooner or later he must obey this law. When is the question.

We are simply baffled by his defiance. All we are asking is our right to see the children as given to us legally. We are not pushing for changes in the court order that gave him custody, but simply that we be given our rights for visitation. How can this be so difficult? It is our hope that he will continue to be pressured to do the right thing and allow us to see the kids.

We are trying to stay optimistic and keep the faith that God has a plan for all of us. We are fine, and we intend to keep fighting.

Will be in Saudi again tomorrow, we will see then what more we can do.
Sandra

Oct. 7, 2011

2011-10-07T14:00:00.000-04:00

Today is another day without seeing the 3 children being held from their mother and me. No word has come from them, no apology, no excuse, and no remorse for the pain they are inflicting. But they can't, if there is any power above, hold out forever.

We are fortunate enough, however, to hold 2 new babies that were born into the family back in August. We have been so consumed that we have not properly welcomed them into the family. Their birth was bittersweet. We looked forward to their birth during the long nine months of pregnancy, planned the reception, planned the nursery, planned to bring them home to a house full of love and joy. Their older brother, 4 years old, thought he would be having a wonderful reunion with his cousins who he is so close with, but none of this happened. After the children were abducted, all our joy and plans dwindled down to getting through another day as our attention turned to focusing on getting our children back. The twin’s birth came as a quiet time, celebrated only in silence and gratefulness for their being healthy and happy. No matter how hard we all tried, the sadness loomed over us. These children were born to my son who has been in the trenches with us each day, only seeing them for little over a week before leaving them to fight our battle in Saudi Arabia.

We are blessed with being a strong, united family, and no complaints were lodged or resentment built, only support and determination to sacrifice and do whatever we need to do to beat the odds in Saudi Arabia.

We are still trying to beat the odds there, and indeed, are giving them a fight they did not expect. They expected us to go away, defeated and lick our wounds. But that is not what happened. Each day we ramp up the pressure to release our children, never giving them a moment of peace or reassurance.

Each day we meet with new people in high positions and power, winning support from the most unexpected places. No one is above the law, not even in Saudi Arabia. And their refusal to accept court orders and comply with police, are winning them no friends.

As time goes along, we will see just how much they are willing to give up to keep their arrogance.

Tomorrow is another day, we are well.

Sandra

Oct. 6, 2011

2011-10-06T15:22:00.000-04:00

Today was a disappointment, but not a total shock. 8:00AM came and went with no sign of the children or the family holding them. This is our court ordered time to pick the kids up for the weekend. They have taken them to Riyadh and we do not know when they will return.

According to the police, my daughter’s ex-husband will be put on the “Black List” Saturday morning, the first day of the Saudi work week. This will be the first step in the court and police actions against his violation of the court order.

It appears as of now, that he and his family continues to believe they are above any form of law. If today’s actions are any indicator of how he plans to treat this, it seems he will take this hit as if there is no court order.

We will have to be back in court soon to make sure every stone is turned over in the process to enforce court orders in Saudi and see if we can push for stiffer penalties.

We crossed the desert into Kuwait after filing the police report of the violation and just arrived at my oldest son’s home. It was a long tiring drive and delays at the border on top of a disappointing and emotional day. I am however blessed and grateful as I was able to hold my newest grandchildren for the first time. We have been so consumed with trying to get 3 children back, our family has not been able to celebrate the birth of a set of twins. What a joy to meet them for the first time.

The family holding our children from their mother has a mounting list of damage they have inflicted. First of foremost, the known damage done to children torn away from their mother. The constant pain they hand out each passing day has us numb at times and we fail to see it. It hit home today holding my new grandchildren. They have stolen so much from us all.

We will take a minute to rest and then back to Saudi Arabia to fight on in a couple of days.

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.

Sandra

Oct 5, 2011

2011-10-05T16:19:00.000-04:00

Today was a day that we finally got to see some of our hard work pay off. The judge has issued a new court order that upheld the original court order for visitation. His wording was much stronger and he made it clear that we were not to be denied our rights!

We have been working on this since my ex-son-in-law went to the Royal Court to put a hold on the original court order. Now, however, the Royal Court is standing behind the new court order and the police are posed to enforce it.

Tomorrow, my daughter and I will go to her ex-husband's house and pound on the door once again at 8:00 in the morning in hopes that the children will be turned over to us. We know they are still out of town, but we are hopeful that the threat of police action will motivate them to return the children to Khobar and obey the law. As of 10:00 tonight, they are still out of town. But, this does not deter us. Early tomorrow we will be there, and we will follow through with the police if they refuse the order again. We can only wait and see what happens.

After many hours of police stations and courts, we stopped by a salon to treat ourselves, the last thing on our minds since the beginning of our saga. As it turns out, this is the same salon that their family frequents. We heard that the two girls had been there, had their hair done and they had seen them several times. They told us how they look and what they said and did. It was sad to know that strangers had seen our children while we had not. We tried to be strong while we heard about them, but it was very hard. We quickly finished up and left the salon. As we are not leaving Saudi anytime soon, we plan on being everywhere they are, making our presence known and if this makes them uncomfortable, great. Now that we know where they go to get their hair done, we will be there too.

We just sat down for the first time today, late in the evening, but today was a good tired. A tired that comes from knowing that we are getting closer to our goal. We know that they will most likely try to avoid the visits tomorrow, if they bother to return to town at all, but it won't stop us from moving forward. They cannot out run the law, as we have been told.

This is all due to the extreme efforts of some wonderful people who have done everything they can to help us. They are the models of what true Islam should be and we gather comfort from knowing that they are on our side. Its important to know that these good people could have easily turned a blind eye to our plight, they could have ignored us or pushed papers, but instead took this personally and they are our champions.

Its been a long day, will get some sleep now. Tomorrow will be a day they won't soon forget.

Sandra

Oct 4, 2011

2011-10-04T15:13:00.000-04:00

Today was as usual, a busy day. We have been from court to police station. So many things are moving at such a rapid pace that it’s hard to give any details as they change daily. What we know for now is that the children have been taken to Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. This is about a 3 hour drive from here. They have chosen to leave Khobar, instead of complying with a court order. We don't know if they plan on being back in town by Thursday, the date in which our court order states we can have the children for the weekend, or ignore it. So far, no word and we can only hope that they decide to obey the police and give us the kids. Obviously, they are aware that they need to comply but have chosen not to respond to any of the police communications. We are still working off our original court order since it is still active.

Other than that, we are working behind the scenes. Can't really discuss these things yet, for fear that they will go away if spoken out loud, but we have done everything we can. We are tired of being locked down here unable to move freely, but we have no choice. We would love to cross over the bridge to Bahrain for much needed down time, but this is too risky for us right now. We have to stay in the trenches and continue our fight from here. I am not sure when we can expect a break, on any level, but it will come.

No children, no phone calls, no word, and now we don't know where they are. They are moving around so that we can't keep up with their location, but we do know that they are together as a family. All of them are working together to keep the children from us and each one plays a key role.

We have heard from an insider that the children are asking for us. They have been heard to say, why isn't my mommy fighting for us? Where is she? I want my mommy, I don't want toys, friends or a big bed, I just want my mommy. My grandson asked his nanny if dreams come true? She asked him why? He said that he dreams each night of being with Mommy and he hopes dreams come true. This tears our heart out, and it motivates us to keep going as well. As long as the children are saying where is Mommy, we can't stop. They haven't forgotten their Mommy or Grandma, and we hear their words in our heads each night we lay down to sleep.

It haunts us, it drives us, and it makes all our daily sacrifice and hard work worth it.

A wise woman told me, "There are bigger things going on here than the players in the story."

We are well. Miss everyone and will keep fighting on.

Sandra

Oct 3, 2011

2011-10-03T14:29:00.000-04:00

Today was a grueling day.

Ghandi said, "First they will ignore you, then they will laugh at you, then they will fight you, then you will win." Guess what stage we are at?

They have ignored and laughed at us, mocking the U. S. system of justice, mocking the American way of life as being "evil" and now they are trying to mock their own system of justice and courts by ignoring a court ordered visitation. They think they are above the law and they do not have to obey any justice system that does not adhere to their own idea of personal comfort. But what they did not plan on was two women who have lost their children, fighting them in their own back yard. We are fighting, we are gaining ground and they think it is over. We will see.

We will be moving again tomorrow. Keeping ahead of their corrupted attempts to squelch our rights is not easy task and I am sure they would love to see us just vanish and go away. We have been told this many times. But that is not going to happen. Today we suited up in our black, and went where few women dare to go in this society. We are learning the ropes and how to get things done the hard way, small bumps along the way in a system that is full of pit falls and good ole boys. But what we are finding out is that women have more rights than they know, it just requires bold moves and a fearless determination. We do not hesitate approaching an office full of men in thobs, push our way through and ask questions. They are taken aback by our boldness, but actually offer answers to our questions once they are addressed directly. What is sad, is watching the many throngs of women needing help and support in very drastic and desperate circumstances stand back and shy away from asking questions or entering rooms with men. These women sit for hours wanting to be seen by anyone in authority, but do not know how to be aggressive. They have been taught since childhood to walk behind a man and be demure, not aggressive. It’s interesting to see them watch us and then follow our lead. We had this situation just today. A woman covered from head to toe in black was sitting on a seat, quietly waiting her turn, talking in whispers to another woman dressed the same. We walked up, put our bags down, and went straight to the door of the man in charge. They sat for a few minutes and watched us, in amazement. When we came out of the room, I noticed one of the women nudge the other and they got up and did the same. Later we struck up a conversation with these women and found that they had been sitting for over an hour without anyone noticing them. They didn't know they could approach the door without being rejected. This reminded me about some advice a wonderful police officer said to us on our first day at the police station. He said that many women come to him too late. They are not aware that they had options to prevent their husbands from either hurting them or taking their children. We are always trying, he said, to educate them on their rights but too often, it is too late and they have signed papers that prevent them from receiving even basic rights that are there for them to have.

And that my friends and family, is what we are finding out. Women can do things in Saudi Arabia, can achieve things if they are willing to ask the right questions and become fearless. We are very supportive of those women fighting for their rights to drive. This simple act can free women in Saudi Arabia to move freely about the country and build a life of independence, instead it chains them to their husbands or drivers and makes them totally co-dependent upon men to see to their own needs. This perpetuates the cycle of ignorance and misinformation to women, as we are finding out.

We are working daily to gain our rights here, and will not give up. This is just the beginning. We are well, staying low and keeping our eyes and ears open at all times. Being bold and fearless is just the American way.

Sandra

Oct 2, 2011

2011-10-02T13:11:00.001-04:00

Another day of running and meetings. We are making some progress with meetings, but still no word on the children's visitations that are court ordered. They are still denying any communication with the children. We did hear that they were sent back to school on Sunday (their first day of the week) and today, Monday. However, they are taking the kids out of town to an undisclosed location for a week and pulling them out of school for that. It appears that school has become a flexible thing in their lives. We are working on things but have no solid word from anyone that we can do anything about these court ordered visits much less anything about their school. It is so sad that we have had to stay away from the school as we received a call from the Principal asking that we not come to the school. Her words were, "Now that the children will be living with their father, we do not see any need for you to come to the school." Obviously, they received a call from the father making this request.

I have begun wearing the Borshia to the court house. I was always wearing the Negab (slits are open for the eyes) but I have found that by wearing the Borshia (all black, no eye slits) I am able to go among the people there without being recognized as being an American and thus, have gained some anonymity. That isn't so bad in this culture, being able to move around freely. But, even then I manage to walk into places and do the wrong thing. Today we took a break from our busy schedule to get something to eat. We stopped by a Hardees (yes, they have all the fast food places here that we do in the States). We walked up to the counter to make our order, just as we do in the States, and sat down to eat. Just as we were sitting down, the manager approached us and informed us that we were in the men's section. We glanced around and saw that we were the only women in the place, so we quickly darted behind a curtain to the women's side. We laughed at the fact that we were so casual about it that they didn't know what to do with us. Then, prayer time came, and they locked us in. We couldn't get out until the prayer break was over. That was a bit surreal.. We could see the traffic going by and others sitting in the restaurant eating (family-women's section) but no one was allowed to leave. It was like the Hotel California. We realized that we weren't in Kansas anymore and waited out the break until the doors were unlocked.

Once we finally slowed down enough to allow our emotions to catch up with us, we dropped down into that black hole. We were struck by how quickly we manage to go from full speed to zero. It was that fast. But once we allowed ourselves to catch a breath, regroup our wits about us, we were back out the door. As we ride along in the car, everything reminds us of the children, their favorite ice cream store, or a toy store we once bought them a toy from, but the worst is when we see other families with children of the same age. We watch them like we are watching a drama playing out, we can't look away. We remember being that carefree and simple, and we wonder if we will ever have our babies back in our arms again. How precious each and every moment is when being with your kids. It is something no one should take for granted. We will have those days again, and we will be able to savior each second they are with us.

Until then, we are well. We will keep fighting and we will win.

Sandra

Oct 1, 2011

2011-10-01T13:49:00.000-04:00

Another new month on the calender.....was it really June 2, 2011 that this nightmare started? Was that 5 months ago or 5 years? Time has a different meaning now.

Day 121……..We still have no communication with the children, no phone calls no visits. We don't even know where they are except for what we are being told by their father. They do not plan on allowing us even minimal contact with the children.

Thanks again for everyone’s concern and thoughts. We are as well as we can be given the circumstances.

Today I simply want to share the following excerpt from an article on abduction.

Sandy

25 year old Emily Moss who was abducted by her father said, ''My mother’s feelings, rights and well being were of no concern to my father; nor were my own desires and rights as a child. Parental kidnap is one of the worst forms of parental alienation and the abusers care about little more than their own wants and needs. I will never forgive my father for taking me from my mother''.

"The term 'parental kidnapping' encompasses the taking, retention or concealment of a child by a parent, other family member, or their agent, in derogation of the custody rights, including visitation rights, of another parent or family member.""These kidnappings are very cleverly plotted and planned and often involve the assistance of family members.

Parental alienation syndrome is real and affects the alienated children well into adulthood. Whether by physical or psychological tactics, whether by stranger or a parent, the children are turned away and against those normally loved and sought out for safety, emotional strength and daily needs. They go into adulthood wanting and needing the left out parent.

"Child stealing is child abuse." According to Huntington, "in child stealing the children are used as both objects and weapons in the struggle between the parents which leads to the brutalization of the children psychologically, specifically destroying their sense of trust in the world around them." Because of the events surrounding parental child abduction, Huntington emphasizes that "we must reconceptualize child stealing as child abuse of the most flagrant sort" (Huntington, 1982, p. 7).

There is an unfortunate and evident paucity of literature on parental child abduction. Just during the past two decades, Huntington (1982), Greif and Hegar (1993), and others have begun addressing concerns for children kidnapped by their parent abductors. With growing concerns for abducted children, some experts have coined terms like "Parental Alienation" to describe the potential negative impact on child victims. Regardless of the specific terms designed to illustrate the effects of parental child abduction, there is general consensus that the children are the resultant casualties. The child becomes a source of revenge towards the other parent without intellectually realizing that the anger and revenge is mostly effecting the child himself..

Sept 30, 2011

2011-09-30T16:13:00.000-04:00

Today was a banner day for mind games. We have not seen the kids, we have not been allowed to speak to the kids, and now we are hearing from their side via emails offering us crumbs. Their demands continue to be unreasonable and we continue to ask for our basic rights. The games have been and still are playing out now for several hours, which is not the problem. The problem lies in the fact that we have been down this road so many times we are able to recognize smoke and mirrors when we see it. By pretending to offer something that we cannot accept, totally restrictive and unsafe, they can claim that they are being generous and it is we that are being the difficult ones. We will keep playing these games in the hope that one day they may actually mean what they say, and put the children's needs before their own pride and willfulness.

It says in a Hadith that Paradise (Heaven) lies at the feet of mothers. This is so because it is mothers who sacrifice and give so much to their children, they are there for them when they are sick, when they study, teach them the values of being a good human being and being kind and generous to others, all the good things a child must learn along their journey to being adults. While doing this, mothers are selfless and untiring in their love and devotion, in their unconditional love. Sometimes a father can take this role, but only if a mother cannot. In this case, a mother not only wants to provide this but is being punished for wanting to provide this love for her children. I was told that I will never be allowed visits with my grandchildren because I committed a deadly sin; the sin of being a mother who provided and does provide unconditional love. This is a quote from my ex-son-in-law. He further stated that this is abnormal and I should have guided her to stay with him no matter what. I should have forced my daughter back into a brutal situation and when I did not, I became the enemy. Well, if this is the consequence for being a loving mother, then I accept this punishment. But, please don't punish the children, they are innocent in all of this.

Today has been emotional, something we have come to deal with. We are on the move again. They are desperate individuals, who are capable of anything. Our short-lived peace yesterday was broken today. The hair stands up on the back of my neck as I think of reasons why the sudden batch of communications. What is up? I don't know. We can only keep fighting and try to be safe while we do it.

Last night my granddaughter asked her nanny, who posted this on her facebook page, what does God look like? She replied, I don't know, I haven't seen God. My granddaughter replied, I just know that I love him. What would a 6 year old child be asking God for? This goes back to how we use to discuss God before bed and read stories, she is still trying to hold on to that practice, even if alone.

We have to win, we have to get them back.

Sandra

Sept 29, 2011

2011-09-29T14:11:00.000-04:00

Today was a strained peaceful day. We tried to put a few hours into resting and regaining our strength for what lies ahead. Last night we had calls up until midnight from my ex-son-in-law's family. They sent messages through their attorney. At first, it appeared that we might come to some compromise for a visit, but that soon fell apart as the list of demands and restrictions grew. At every turn, they imposed such restrictions that they could not be met. It was heart wrenching, but it is something we have come to expect. We didn't get our hopes up too high, so when we were let down, we didn't drop too low. These mind games are constant now, and we have learned to handle them better, not let our emotions get the best of us.

This is a good time to thank those unsung heroes who are fighting with us behind the scenes but without their help, we couldn't get through one day. My son is my hero here. He just had twin babies and has a 4 year old at home, but left them to be with us and guide us through our every move. It is due to his determination to push through the crowds of men in the court house and make a hole for us to enter, that has allowed us to be heard. It is his determination to run from one place to another, hauling us behind him, protecting us, guiding us, being our voice when we could not be heard that has made anything we have achieved possible. This would not have been possible without the unrelenting support of his wonderful wife. She does not complain, but offers continual support from her home to us each night to keep fighting. She is holding down the home front all alone while he stands with us in Saudi. She is an angel. And, of course, my children's father. His constant work behind the scenes never ends, he does not sleep or go a minute without thinking of who he can call, what he can do and how he can help. Believe me, this is so valuable in this part of the world.

Then there is my wonderful husband, who put me on a plane and said go and do what you need to do to get those children back without a single complaint. He waits each day to receive a single email from me reassuring him that we are okay. He is my rock, my inspiration in this storm. His continual fighting from the home front assures us that nothing is left undone, no stone not turned over, and manages to stay positive and optimistic when we drop to the floor. This is not an easy task, ask my son who has been our post to lean on more times than I can count. And let me not forget my other two sons that are doing their part by offering their love and support at all times, but going on with their lives to be the best men they can be. Their offer to come and stand with us in Saudi was a wonderful thought, but knowing they are moving forward to finish their schooling and careers means more to us than being here to suffer the ups and downs of our daily struggle. At least we know my daughter's ex-husband's family didn't stop us from living, but quite the contrary.

And most of all, my special friends and family, who keep praying and supporting us from afar. Their kind words and wishes motivate us and keep us going when things look black. Their joint voices are heard by all, and we find such comfort in knowing that we are not forgotten back home while here on a mission. I know it is not easy to keep me and my family in their thoughts and prayers when they have their own lives to deal with, but they manage to find time to let us know they are there and not giving up either.

Today was one of those rare days that we had time to reflect and regroup, and by doing this we realized that we are truly blessed with such good people behind us and pushing us forward, thus we never lose momentum. We know we will get our children back, it may take time, it may take countless sleepless nights and long hours standing in lines and pushing our way through crowds, but that is a small thing to ask to have the eternal joy we will have when we see them again.

Love to all, we are well. No phone calls, no visits, no promises that this will change anytime soon. But, we will get up tomorrow and fight on....many things on the horizon. God's will be done.

Sandra

Sept 28 2011

2011-09-28T12:57:00.000-04:00

Buckle up, heading up that hill again. Today was an experience I won't soon forget. Put on my basic black, nagob (face covering), Shalah (head scarf), and Abia (black robe that all women wear) and headed out with my daughter and son to the courts again. Unlike the courts here, one can show up and ask to be seen by the judge and get a few minutes of his time. We went to ask that the resending of our court order be stopped. When we entered, we expected to be turned away and we didn't have much hope on being heard with any success. However, they did agree to see us. We could not stop the resending of this order, but we did get a chance to show the judge more documents and tell him more of our side of the story. My daughter was a dynamite speaker. She is full of passion and fire, she swayed the court with her words and her plea as a mother to see her children. They could not reissue the court order, but did give us some hope by telling us that we have different options that we have not used yet. Again, the details of this are confidential but it is important to know that the case is not completely done and we will fight on.

The court house was the real experience for me. As I sat outside the court room, I sat with the women in the women's section. My feet were covered in black socks and I wore black gloves. The slit that looked through barely showed my eyes, but I am sure they figured out that I was an ajnabia (foreigner) by my blue eyes. What was amazing was the kindness that was showed to me. Several times, as we moved from floor to floor, running for paperwork that needed this stamp or that stamp, this signature or that signature, I sat in the wrong section. Each time, I was politely asked to move to the women's section by someone who called me "sister." Even the other women tried to strike up conversation with me in fluent Arabic, and I tried to use my rusty Arabic to respond to them. When my daughter, one time, told a woman that I was an American, she was shocked. She said she hadn't seen an American woman dressed like this and I really didn't need to because as American, we are allowed to move about Saudi Arabia wearing just the Abia. I told her that I did this out of respect for the culture and the Islamic Sharia Courts, which we came to visit. They were so impressed, and began revealing their court cases having to deal with divorce, children, custody, and support. Each story was fascinating, demonstrating that these women have common threads of concerns. I was struck with how closely these women resembled women in the states fighting for their rights. The big difference, obviously, is that we have the ability to handle all our affairs independently. Women here must have their guardian represent them in court and they do most of the talking, except for my daughter. She always takes the judge by surprise and oddly, they seem to find it humorous. They have never reprimanded her for it and end up laughing with her.

We left the court house after 6 hours of running, exhausted but refueled. At one point, I slipped down in my chair where I sat alone waiting for the last of the clerks to leave and meet with us, and almost fell asleep out of exhaustion. A little Indian tea boy came to me and told me "Hajia" (a term used for older women, showing respect), why don't you leave now and go home, the court house is closing. He was concerned that this old woman was being left unattended in a strange place. I was touched, but told him my son and daughter were in the clerk's office and they were coming out soon. As with everyone who meets me here, wearing traditional clothing, the look on his face was priceless when I spoke in Arabic but I am sure my accent gave me away. When we got back home, I quickly changed into my jeans and t-shirt and sat on the couch...some things never change.

Anyway, another full day. Phone calls to everyone, texts and emails. These things never stop. No phone calls to the children, no visits allowed and we aren't sure when, if ever, we will be given anything. But, we will keep doing our best to be a thorn in this family's side until we get our children back.

Sandy

Sept 27, 2011

2011-09-27T14:06:00.000-04:00

We may have lost everything today. Are there no honest people in the world anymore? The judge appears to be set to retract his order and we will have nothing. The wolves ate us like lambs. Their money and power and corruption spoke, while we were treated like poor beggars. Tomorrow we will find out for sure.

Is there no one who can help us? Are we alone in the world? Can corruption and power rule the world we live in and those of us that are simple people, living an honest life, without any twisted motives or incentives be the victims of those more powerful?

We are lost now, with nowhere to turn. A small girl with Cerebral Palsy will not be taken for treatment, she will not receive medical she so desperately needs, she will not have the basics in life that all American children have come to expect and take for granted. She, and her sister and brother, are their "property" now. They own them. They belong to them. They will be held until adults, the girls forced to be covered and wear an abia at the age of 12, never to play on a playground or visit a zoo or take pictures with Mickey Mouse at Disney World, because an old man and his son have become their masters. They will never know the joy to attend a cinema, which they loved in Boston, to watch their favorite new movie. They will be bought all the little toys and bling that money can buy, but they will never know freedom or carefree lives of children anymore. They will wonder where their grandmother has gone. Why doesn't she come to see me? As babies, I was there for their birth, for their first teeth, their fevers, their nightmares, their potty training, their security. Now, I am a ghost memory that will fade with time. Their mother may be able to visit them under strict guard once a week for an hour until adults. With no court and at the whim of this family, this even seems remote. They have ignored a court order and police summons with impunity and are no worse for wear. As adults, the girls will be under their father's "guardianship" and they will not be allowed to move freely without his written consent until marriage.

We did find honest policemen that were willing to enforce the court ordered visitation. With a new court order granting her no rights there is little they can do. Lets trust the judge will be just as he has been so far.

The tank is empty…..I will write more when I can.

Sandra

Sept 26, 2011

2011-09-26T15:22:00.001-04:00

Another day of restlessness in the jungle. On the move again, keeping a shroud of mystery around our whereabouts is important for us now more than ever. Today we went back to the Police Station, called by the Police Officer who has been helping us. To block the police action that was supposed to have taken place today, my daughter's ex-husband had a letter sent from the Royal Court to the police. In this letter, one of the members of the Royal Court wrote requesting that the police postpone any action until the final outcome of the appeal. This disturbed the police officer so much that he went us to the Chief of Police in the region and spoke to him. He assured us that the law was the law and this was only a temporary hold on the action and he would be giving my ex-son-in-law a few days to come to the police station and bring the children. Nothing can force these police officers to break the law, and that is what the paper is asking them to do. The Police Chief agreed only to wait a few days to allow my ex-son-in-law the chance to redeem himself from legally imposed criminal actions, a huge shame and embarrassment in Saudi.

Then, by some strange coincidence (?), the runner showed up at the officer's desk, with my son and daughter present. We cannot trust anyone, too many people are and have been gotten to in this case. We can only assume how this runner knew our exact location two days in a row. Anyway, he told us we should give up, leave Saudi Arabia, they had won and had the most powerful people behind them. They were not going to give in on the court order nor did they need to as they had the system in their back pocket. Although he maintained a polite smile as he told us to give up and leave, his words masked a deeper meaning and this meaning was not lost on us as well as the police officer. Using carefully placed words, he basically threatened us; leave now, give up the fight or else. The police officer promptly kicked him out of the office. This was not a good strategy for them to take, this backfired in their faces.

This only made the Police Chief and the Police Officer more determined than ever. The Police Chief called the Royal Court and spoke to the man who wrote the paper on their behalf. He informed him that he would give my ex-son-in-law a few days to comply, but insisted that we be allowed to see the children tomorrow at 10:00 in his office. If my ex-son-in-law feared that we were a flight risk, how could we flee from the police in his own office? The Royal Court agreed, and went against their own paper and said that they would demand the children be there at 10:00. We will see if the family, the old man in particular, will actually show up. If they do not, they are not only in violation of the court order, the police order, but a Royal Court order. This is grounds for serious consequences. We don't know for sure what will come of this, but knowing how they are, nothing would surprise me. They may show up with another paper to overrule that paper, or a number of things. We are hoping that they will not be so bold as to risk this and bring the children tomorrow. I hate to see small babies come to a dirty police station, sit in a small office for a short time, just to see their mother. I am sure it will not be a comfortable environment for children. But we are told this is quite normal in Saudi, many children are picked up by the police and taken to the police station, where they are handed to their mothers to comply with a court order, then returned to the police station and taken back to their father's home. It is a traumatic experience and one they hate to do, but in some cases this is the only way that a mother's rights can be assured as well as her safety.

We are far from finished with the courts here. Each and every step will require our going back to court to enforce the court order and to keep it. Each day something new is thrown our way and we have to fight it. It takes desperate people to ignore all these orders. If they think their veiled threats can deter us, they are mistaken. It only makes us more determined to fight on. We are not leaving Saudi Arabia without some resolution to this. We are praying for our court case in Boston. Perhaps then, and only then will they be willing to come to the table and discuss a long-term, real solution.

In the mean time, we are well and trying to face each day with optimism and hope.

Sandra